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Difficulty living with 25 yr old son who is bipolar
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<blockquote data-quote="Ironbutterfly" data-source="post: 677907" data-attributes="member: 19951"><p>I agree with others here. He is a Man now, was going to school, stopped. He is unemployed, refused further counseling and help. YOU have to get on with your life and let him figure out his own path whatever that may be. He is smart, he will find his way. He can apply for disability if he needs to do so. He will either help himself or not. Cut him loose. Give him a date he has to leave so you can wind up your affairs and move. Let him drive his own bus to get to his destination. </p><p></p><p>I have found most recently with my own son, that whenever I have been there for him financially or otherwise, the more he self destructed, was not motivated to change his life. The moment I stopped being his payee, stopped hearing his drama, set hard boundaries, stopped listening to his latest nightmare emergency situation, he seemed to have gotten better. I can't explain it- it's like they act so disrespectful, mean, put the blame on you on purpose so that you will be so fed up with them, that you walk away. It's an almost in your face push on purpose so that they will try to figure their own stuff out but can't because Momma is driving the bus.</p><p></p><p>Since I changed how I deal with him now; he's changed and we have had really nice conversations, no drama, no asking for money, just good conversation. I got a text recently thanking me for everything I have tried to do for him. Of course, been there with the thank you's, and waiting with low expectation that things will remain good. But I just take day by day and keep hard on boundaries for now. Life has been peaceful lately- something I haven't had in years.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ironbutterfly, post: 677907, member: 19951"] I agree with others here. He is a Man now, was going to school, stopped. He is unemployed, refused further counseling and help. YOU have to get on with your life and let him figure out his own path whatever that may be. He is smart, he will find his way. He can apply for disability if he needs to do so. He will either help himself or not. Cut him loose. Give him a date he has to leave so you can wind up your affairs and move. Let him drive his own bus to get to his destination. I have found most recently with my own son, that whenever I have been there for him financially or otherwise, the more he self destructed, was not motivated to change his life. The moment I stopped being his payee, stopped hearing his drama, set hard boundaries, stopped listening to his latest nightmare emergency situation, he seemed to have gotten better. I can't explain it- it's like they act so disrespectful, mean, put the blame on you on purpose so that you will be so fed up with them, that you walk away. It's an almost in your face push on purpose so that they will try to figure their own stuff out but can't because Momma is driving the bus. Since I changed how I deal with him now; he's changed and we have had really nice conversations, no drama, no asking for money, just good conversation. I got a text recently thanking me for everything I have tried to do for him. Of course, been there with the thank you's, and waiting with low expectation that things will remain good. But I just take day by day and keep hard on boundaries for now. Life has been peaceful lately- something I haven't had in years. [/QUOTE]
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Difficulty living with 25 yr old son who is bipolar
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