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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 476391"><p>So my son called me today which is a good thing. I think it was at the urging of M, the sober house person. Anyway I am left feeling pretty wary.....he sounded ok but certainly didn't paint a rosy picture... of course he never does because I think he is always trying to play on our sympathy....according to him the sober house is in a ghetto near the train tracks....lol of course that may just be his perception. He did say the other guys were about his age which is a good thing. We talked about his court date and he asked if he could stay up here an extra day..... oh boy alarm bells went off in my head!!! Good thing we already made his reservations so I told him we couldn't change them. I did say that he doesn't leave til that night so he may have time to see people... gosh darn it I always want to appease him.</p><p></p><p>Then he told me we don't need to make a hotel reservation because he can stay with some friends. Oh big alarm bells go off in my head now. I stayed calm. I know this journey this time has been totally his and it needs to stay that way. I know know know that no matter how tempting it is, if i try to control this it will backfire and it will become about defying me rather than about his recovery. So i just asked him that would be hard etc. and he commented no it would be ok and he knew they would drug test him when he got back etc. Still not the strong statement of how committed he is to recovery I would have liked to hear. I asked him who he would stay with and he basically didn't anaswer me... so I went on to something else. I later asked him if it was a particular friend and he said yes. Now this friend is an ok kid. I like him.... although I know he does drugs and drinks etc but he also has kept a job and hasn't been in the level of trouble my son has. I told him I don't have a problem with him. I also told him I hoped he would at least have dinner with us.....</p><p></p><p>I asked him how it was seeing M and R(her husband) again. She said M was playing the mother role and that was annoying. LOL. I told him to tell her he already had a mom that drove him crazy! </p><p></p><p>So I am nervous about the whole thing.....I so badly want to try and control the situation. I am so afraid he will do something really stupid and get in more trouble.... but I have to let it go and just hope for the best.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 476391"] So my son called me today which is a good thing. I think it was at the urging of M, the sober house person. Anyway I am left feeling pretty wary.....he sounded ok but certainly didn't paint a rosy picture... of course he never does because I think he is always trying to play on our sympathy....according to him the sober house is in a ghetto near the train tracks....lol of course that may just be his perception. He did say the other guys were about his age which is a good thing. We talked about his court date and he asked if he could stay up here an extra day..... oh boy alarm bells went off in my head!!! Good thing we already made his reservations so I told him we couldn't change them. I did say that he doesn't leave til that night so he may have time to see people... gosh darn it I always want to appease him. Then he told me we don't need to make a hotel reservation because he can stay with some friends. Oh big alarm bells go off in my head now. I stayed calm. I know this journey this time has been totally his and it needs to stay that way. I know know know that no matter how tempting it is, if i try to control this it will backfire and it will become about defying me rather than about his recovery. So i just asked him that would be hard etc. and he commented no it would be ok and he knew they would drug test him when he got back etc. Still not the strong statement of how committed he is to recovery I would have liked to hear. I asked him who he would stay with and he basically didn't anaswer me... so I went on to something else. I later asked him if it was a particular friend and he said yes. Now this friend is an ok kid. I like him.... although I know he does drugs and drinks etc but he also has kept a job and hasn't been in the level of trouble my son has. I told him I don't have a problem with him. I also told him I hoped he would at least have dinner with us..... I asked him how it was seeing M and R(her husband) again. She said M was playing the mother role and that was annoying. LOL. I told him to tell her he already had a mom that drove him crazy! So I am nervous about the whole thing.....I so badly want to try and control the situation. I am so afraid he will do something really stupid and get in more trouble.... but I have to let it go and just hope for the best. TL [/QUOTE]
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