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General Parenting
Discussion: difficult children - Setting Boundaries vs Accomodations
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<blockquote data-quote="whatamess" data-source="post: 515599" data-attributes="member: 7664"><p>To use your example of a messy bedroom- my boundaries are no food, towels and clothes off the floor and clean up on Saturday. The accomodation to GO WITH the boundary is that my difficult child needs prompts to maintain my boundary, he does not independently do these things. Yes, he can physically pick up a towel, but for whatever reason/disability issue we want to claim he does not do so without reminders. So my BOUNDARY is pick up towels, clothes, no food, clean-up on Saturday. My ACCOMODATION is to verbally prompt him each time. I spent a lot of time when my difficult child was younger believing he should understand/comply with my directives without prompts etc, but he has shown me that he is not functioning at that level yet.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="whatamess, post: 515599, member: 7664"] To use your example of a messy bedroom- my boundaries are no food, towels and clothes off the floor and clean up on Saturday. The accomodation to GO WITH the boundary is that my difficult child needs prompts to maintain my boundary, he does not independently do these things. Yes, he can physically pick up a towel, but for whatever reason/disability issue we want to claim he does not do so without reminders. So my BOUNDARY is pick up towels, clothes, no food, clean-up on Saturday. My ACCOMODATION is to verbally prompt him each time. I spent a lot of time when my difficult child was younger believing he should understand/comply with my directives without prompts etc, but he has shown me that he is not functioning at that level yet. [/QUOTE]
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Discussion: difficult children - Setting Boundaries vs Accomodations
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