And Jumper! She hears how he talks to me. He's not quiet. You can hear him over my cell phone even though I don't have the speaker on. Jumper has said, "I don't even know why you ever talk to him." Sonic was his buddy. 36 LOVED him when he was little, but after he had his own kid, he moved and he doesn't really try to have a relationship with Sonic anymore and Sonic is not one to make the first move. He has nobody but me and my ex, and I'm not so sure all other mothers would talk to him at all. I think some might disown him completely. If Scott had not walked out of our lives and broke my heart, maybe I could detach more, but he did and I can't.
I want to add that although S. chose his new Chinese family and dropped everyone except for ex (and that was after three silent years and probably with a lot of conditions on ex AND ex has money, which Scott likes), I don't really blame him because coming to a new family at age six (and a new country to boot) is usually not a recipe for a well attached child. However...wow...our family has been through the ringer and, when it all came out of the wash, I am basically in a place of contentment. 36 is 36. I do talk to him. I no longer take him seriously. S. will not come back. I accept that and it's ok...I just warn others not to adopt older children. It usually is not a good experience. But my great husband and my three youngest kids and me are sooooooooooooooooooo close and loving. In spite of everything we have been through, I truly feel blessed for all the good in my life. And all the lessons learned!!!
Best of all, I have a new granddaughter soon to be born, and I'm over the moon about her already. Life is very good to me and the challenges that were thrown at me made me realize I have strong shoulders and a strong mind, in spite of having some challenges that others don't have to deal with. I have turned into quite an optimist. All of my kids don't have to be perfect for my life to be great...but I do feel that three of my kids ARE perfect, even if they really aren't 
