Disturbing to the n th Degree

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Mar 10, 2009.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Here of late, K's husband M has been emailing me videos and picts he takes of the kids. In fact he sent me a cute video of Kayla and Alex last night.

    So I thought nothing when I saw 2 emails from him just a short while ago. I open it and there is no message, but a photo attachment. (usual for him) The photo consist of their hotel room and Kayla standing off a ways wearing a towel. So.......I thought perhaps he was trying to catch Evan streaking buck naked again. I know M took the picture because his arm was in front of the camera too.

    I click into the 2nd email. No message. Photo attachment. I open it again to find a picture of the hotel room......and Kayla standing there buck naked from the neck down. Frontal view....and yes, it's a tad blurry but you can see everything.:mad:


    This guy is most definately mega difficult child. Evan if picture was snapped of Kayla by accident while trying to catch Evan........M had to see what it was when he attached it to the email.

    And people.......I'm giving the guy an ENORMOUS benefit of the doubt by assuming he was trying to snap a picture of streaking Evan during bath time. K is nowhere to be seen in either picture. Could be bathing one of the other kids, may be out running an errand.

    I find this disturbing on so many levels right down to my marrow.

    Ok. So they're cramped in a motel room with just a bath. Even so I'll tell you that at almost 9 yrs old my husband would've never seen his girls nude. I'd have forced them to change in the bathroom. So in my opinion she shouldn't even have been in the same room with him in that state. Let alone having her picture taken!

    I'm praying for an email from K to explain these 2 pics........and praying the explaination is believable. But I'm not counting on either.:( I have a feeling K doesn't know they were sent at all, let alone taken. And I suspect they might have been sent to me by mistake.

    These are not cute baby pics of naked buns. This is a nearly 9 year old girl. Grandma's do not want to see pics of this of their grandaughters.:mad:

    I'm hesitant to email K and ask as I don't know if he knows her email password. And if this email was not meant for me, I don't want to tip him off.

    There is more to the K, M, and grandkids picture than I'm getting over the phone and web. It's been making me uneasy for a while now.....I've just been waiting for it to play out as I didn't have enough to come to any actual conclusions. Just suspicions. And I have been trying hard to give M a full fledge chance, truly I have. Even if I have had to repeat to myself that K obviously had to have seen something *good* about the guy in order to be with him.

    But dang it to hades.......I'm really struggling to like the guy. REALLY. He wasn't too bad when I met him here. But online......he is so over the top now that I cringe when he talks on the videos with the kids.

    And there was an incident a few months back that I filed away in my brain because there was nothing I could do about it.

    It was during our Sunday phone call. We'd been talking for a while. And Kayla loves to talk, she'll talk your ears off. Evidently, K left the kids with M during the phone call to go to laundry. (a common thing) Suddenly instead of a perky 8 yr old chatting happily about her day.........I get a drastic change over the phone of an absollutely terrified child who tells me in an unmistakable shaking voice that she has to get off the phone now. The dread in her voice frightened me. I heard M in the background in and undertone telling her to come to him.:(

    It is hard at this distance to know what is really going on. So I'm doing my best not to jump to conclusions. K doesn't seem aware......or is not giving any indication she is.

    I've taken forever typing this post in hopes of an email from K. Nothing. D*mn.

    So? What do I do? What do you guys think?
  2. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Forward the photo to K. She is the mother and should know what is being sent by e mail. No commentary is needed. Just tell K this e mail was sent and you didn't know if she knew or approved of it but thought as the mom she should know.
  3. C.J.

    C.J. New Member

    There is a saying - something like, first it's just an uneasy feeling, then you get a whisper, then you get a nudge, then you get a shove, and finally an anvil falls on your head.

    Please talk to K. I am a survivor of childhood sexual assault. Thank God my mother believed me when she got a nudge... I was told by by man who was very close to become my stepfather that it was "our special secret".
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I'm also an adult survivor of sexual abuse. And this has alarm bells going off for me all over the place. The phone call incident alone sent up huge red flags......but this, OMG.

    Fran.........if I forward it, will it show it originated from his email account? I never get forwarded email so I haven't a clue.

    I want K to know about this. She needs to know. I just hope........I'm worried......that maybe she'll take it wrong and will cease contact, thereby giving me no hope of helping Kayla if something needs to be done.

    I am desperately praying something is not going on.......my mind just does not want to go there.

    But if the picture was taken accidentally.........he had to have seen it to attach it to the email. There is nothing else in either picture he could've been aiming at......the boys nor K are in the room.

    But if it was intentional......and God knows who it was meant for......K needs to know and put a stop to it immediately, and I'd back her no matter what it took.

    Fran, I'm going to do as you suggest and forward it. I dunno what else to do. :(
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Ok. I forwarded it.

    Don't know what will happen, but it's on K's shoulders now. Fran, I put it almost exactly as you did.......cuz I really didn't know what else to say.
  6. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    You did the right thing, Lisa.

  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Lisa, if you don't hear anything from K about this you are going to have to call CPS where they live (child protection). It isn't fun but this goes WAY beyond the bounds of OK.

    As it is, I would be alerting child protection. This is a pornographic picture of a child being sent across state lines. As it is, by forwarding it YOU could be in trouble if this were looked at wrong (not seen as a gma reaching out to her daughter to let her know of a serious problem).

    I think the phone call was a major warning and this picture was CLEARLY not sent to you on purpose, unless kayla did it as a cry for help.

    I know you are hesitant because the newly repaired relationship with K and the grands. But this is very serious. Very dangerous for Kayla. She could end up with problems like the dissociation, etc that our dear kt has. I KNOW you do not want that.

    PLEASE find CPS or DHS or whatever they call it and report this. Or contact the local FBI office in YOUR area about potential child pornography. How will you feel if it comes out that the stepdad is selling these pics of Kayla all over the internet and you had this chance to stop it and didn't?

    I am sorry. I just think this is too big a deal to wait more than 24 hours on. Because it very well COULD be kayla reaching out for your help.

    I am so sorry.

  8. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    I don't know what advice to give as I personally have never been in this kind of situation. I wouldn't want to say the wrong thing. I just wanted to tell you that I am so sorry and send you a (((HUG))).

    Keeping you and your precious grandchildren in my prayers.
  9. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Disturbing is an understatement. Technically this is child pornography. If K does nothing, I would bring it to CPS and the police. You could be at risk just for receiving it.
  10. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Much as I hate CPS, I would go to them on this. It sounds like the tip of an iceberg. Ask CPS to keep your name off of it.
  11. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I know I did the right thing. But knowing didn't make it any easier to do. Often the messanger in these cases is the one "punished" for attempting to help if the parent doesn't want to face the truth.:(

    I didn't sleep well, and the times I did drift off I had nitemares. I haven't had nitemares since I was a child. Every time I think about it my blood runs cold and I want to throw up.

    Susie, this is not her stepfather. This is her father. The same man who thought it perfectly ok to date her mother at 13 1/2 when he was a 25 year old man. That fact alone has always disturbed me about M....whether he is difficult child, mentally slow or not. Obviously he goes for young girls......and Kayla is reaching puberty fast.

    If I get no response from K I will most definately report it to CPS there and whoever else it needs to be reported to. I can not look the other way. It simply is not in me to do so. I moved heaven and earth for easy child at age 3, nitemare that it was......just to protect her......and I will do the same for my grandaughter if I need to.

    So far no email from K, which is not unusual. She usually emails me late afternoon or evening. I can only hope and pray M doesn't intercept that email and that K takes fast action.

    I will back K 100 percent. And I will help her as much as possible. But if she does not take the appropriate action, she will discover along with M that I am a force to be reckoned with. When it comes to this sort of thing I do not back down, nor do I give up. I see it thru to the end and let the chips fall where they may. Kayla needs protected, and if her mother won't do it, I most certainly will.

    Could someone stop the world for a while? I'd like to get off and rest.:whiteflag:
  12. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I second Crazy in VA. This needs to be reported. It is not normal and it is even more disturbing to me because it didn't show her face. -RM
  13. catwoman

    catwoman New Member

    Thank God Kayla has you for a Grandmom. I know from experience that there are people who would look the other way and do nothing.
  14. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Oh, wow. I didn't realize it was her FATHER. I think it is pretty well established that he likes females too young for ANYONE to like. K was 13 and he was 25? ICK.

    In that situation I hope you are planning to contact someone today if K doesn't do something. because he is probably grooming Kayla to be his next victim.

    I am so sorry. Keep us informed.
  15. katya02

    katya02 Solace

    Lisa, I'm sorry. I can't see any way this could be innocent. Having received the picture you did, you may be liable unless you report it to the police. And honestly - while I'd do as you have done and notify K, I'd also go ahead and make an anonymous report. I don't think there's any time to lose given the phone call incident.

    I'm so, so sorry this is happening. Glad you're standing up and doing the right thing.
  16. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Wow, Lisa! I'm coming in to this late but this is really disturbing! Way too many red flags here to let it pass by! Do you think he may have sent the picture to you by mistake, that it was meant for someone else? I hate to say it, but he could very well be selling pictures on the internet ...

    I really hope you get a chance to talk with K! If there's even the slightest chance that that's what is happening here, she MUST take action to put a stop to it! She needs to know that if he is doing something like that, if she has the knowledge that he's up to something like that and she takes no action to put a stop to it, SHE can also be charged with a crime for failing to protect her children from him!

    We had a case here locally where a bio-father was charged with selling sexually explicit videos and still pictures of his two little girls - the youngest was still in diapers! His wife was a girl that my daughter had gone to school with. The mother knew - said she didn't but nobody believed her - it would have been impossible for her not to know! The father was given a long prison sentence. Good! I hope he rots! And the mother, even though she did not actually make the videos or take the pictures herself, was sentenced to seven years in prison because she knew it was going on and took no action to protect her daughters from him! If something like that is going on, you might want to remind K that she also could be held responsible, just in case she might be at all tempted to cover for him! If he's doing that, he's making money out of it.
  17. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Hoping and praying this goes well. HAve you heard anything? Does K usually check her email daily?
  18. Lori4ever

    Lori4ever New Member

    You're in my thoughts and prayers! I hope you hear from K very soon!!
  19. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Coming in late, and agreeing with the others. I'd be concerned as well. Have you heard from K yet?
  20. C.J.

    C.J. New Member


    Thought I'd check in here one last time before I head to bed to see if there was an update. You and yours will be in my prayers tonight.

    Sending you strength...