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Disturbing to the n th Degree
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<blockquote data-quote="Rhonda" data-source="post: 253538" data-attributes="member: 6732"><p>Lisa, </p><p>Your family is so fortunate to have you. There is no way from reading a post to interpret the truth behind this situation. This situation is usually a "feel" thing. And if your "feelers" have gone off... then get on that bulldozer and plough ahead! Getting to the bottom of your concerns can do Zero harm.. no parent who is completely innocent will ever hold that against anyone. I would be very wary, but I do think it might be worth noting that you did not say he got angry about it. </p><p> </p><p>In most cases (unless he is very intelligent) the perpetrator gets angry about someone even thinking they would do such a thing. I have to say the phone call with your little one bothered me. But, in truth, I think I instilled that fear in my own daughter a few times when I was angry with her. It depends on the child, and you know her way better than any of us could. </p><p> </p><p>The 25/13 thing is troubling to say the least but then they are still together. How much faith do you have in K and her judgement? Perceptions are a tricky thing. They are based on our beliefs and fears. If our perceptions are wrong then our emotions and reactions are too. Take a hard look at this, trust yourself. </p><p> </p><p>Could you have your granddaughter come spend a holiday with you soon? If you could be with her for a few days... school is not an issue compared to this...you could get her to a professional who could help determine what is really going on. (be careful, get recommendations)</p><p> </p><p>If you do that. find someone ahead of time and give them all the information so that they are fully prepared to try to get the most they can from one meeting..it may be all you get.. If you get an all clear or at least nothing to throw up more flags then you have to decide for yourself from there. But, you will have taken steps to make your choices clearer to you. </p><p> </p><p>I am so sorry you are having to struggle with this. It is one of the hardest things in the world. You sound like you have a firm grip on it though and I hope it turns out that it was just something that needed to be checked on not something really bad.</p><p> </p><p>Hugs to you!</p><p>Rhonda</p><p> </p><p>Oh about the photo thing... it is not a bid deal at all. Very few people have a real understanding of photo attachments, etc.. Just because some send it another way is not of concern.. I am a computer engineer and see so many people doing it all different ways... I would be more concerned if it were imbedded in the email. The only other thing was that it does take some effort to attach a photo and then choose who to send it to, so.. that is not an easy mistake to make...how could he not know he did it?? that is a little weird.. I would love to see his computer.. </p><p>Would your daughter do a backup of the email file? I could give you detailed information on how to do this. If they dont know how to clean up their files properly then you would have access to all of the files he has sent.. not just the ones he sent you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Rhonda, post: 253538, member: 6732"] Lisa, Your family is so fortunate to have you. There is no way from reading a post to interpret the truth behind this situation. This situation is usually a "feel" thing. And if your "feelers" have gone off... then get on that bulldozer and plough ahead! Getting to the bottom of your concerns can do Zero harm.. no parent who is completely innocent will ever hold that against anyone. I would be very wary, but I do think it might be worth noting that you did not say he got angry about it. In most cases (unless he is very intelligent) the perpetrator gets angry about someone even thinking they would do such a thing. I have to say the phone call with your little one bothered me. But, in truth, I think I instilled that fear in my own daughter a few times when I was angry with her. It depends on the child, and you know her way better than any of us could. The 25/13 thing is troubling to say the least but then they are still together. How much faith do you have in K and her judgement? Perceptions are a tricky thing. They are based on our beliefs and fears. If our perceptions are wrong then our emotions and reactions are too. Take a hard look at this, trust yourself. Could you have your granddaughter come spend a holiday with you soon? If you could be with her for a few days... school is not an issue compared to this...you could get her to a professional who could help determine what is really going on. (be careful, get recommendations) If you do that. find someone ahead of time and give them all the information so that they are fully prepared to try to get the most they can from one meeting..it may be all you get.. If you get an all clear or at least nothing to throw up more flags then you have to decide for yourself from there. But, you will have taken steps to make your choices clearer to you. I am so sorry you are having to struggle with this. It is one of the hardest things in the world. You sound like you have a firm grip on it though and I hope it turns out that it was just something that needed to be checked on not something really bad. Hugs to you! Rhonda Oh about the photo thing... it is not a bid deal at all. Very few people have a real understanding of photo attachments, etc.. Just because some send it another way is not of concern.. I am a computer engineer and see so many people doing it all different ways... I would be more concerned if it were imbedded in the email. The only other thing was that it does take some effort to attach a photo and then choose who to send it to, so.. that is not an easy mistake to make...how could he not know he did it?? that is a little weird.. I would love to see his computer.. Would your daughter do a backup of the email file? I could give you detailed information on how to do this. If they dont know how to clean up their files properly then you would have access to all of the files he has sent.. not just the ones he sent you. [/QUOTE]
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