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Substance Abuse
Do I confide in my friend?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 628529" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I actually think it's wrong not to let a friend know exactly what she is getting. She could get into trouble herself if she is found with drugs in her house or she could have a scare if the police come. Do you really think it would work out?</p><p></p><p>My own personal opinion is to leave others out of it. You don't know the extent of his drug abuse. You do know he has been in serious trouble. Until she knows EVERYTHING, she should not, in my opinion, offer your son a room. It's a violation of her boundaries, in my opinion, to try to sneak your son into her life without giving her all the details just because you will worry about him.</p><p></p><p></p><p>My own now 36 year old son was sort of homeless for a bit. His father paid for him to stay at various hotels. But once a friend's mom called to tell me off for abandoning my son. I told her the truth and she said, "Well, he'll know love in my house!" and slammed the phone down. Three weeks later she threw him out and didn't even call to apologize <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>I just believe it is wrong to involve others in our problems without giving them all the facts. Many of our difficult child have done things to those who tried to help them that are unthinkable. Read JKF's story or jeanne_in_Ca's story. We never think our kids could be THAT bad, but sometimes they are and anyone getting into it at our request should, be told. In my own opinion, which may not be everyone's opinion, it is a moral obligation.</p><p></p><p>And people will know and probably already do know that your son abuses drugs. The entire world seemed to know my daughter used drugs. It got back to me from people I never even talked to, but bad behavior is fodder for gossip...</p><p></p><p>As for your son, I wouldn't tell him to do or not to do anything. He's an adult now and won't listen to you anyway. How is he going to get the money to afford the rent?</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry you're still so worried. Sending you good vibes and prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 628529, member: 1550"] I actually think it's wrong not to let a friend know exactly what she is getting. She could get into trouble herself if she is found with drugs in her house or she could have a scare if the police come. Do you really think it would work out? My own personal opinion is to leave others out of it. You don't know the extent of his drug abuse. You do know he has been in serious trouble. Until she knows EVERYTHING, she should not, in my opinion, offer your son a room. It's a violation of her boundaries, in my opinion, to try to sneak your son into her life without giving her all the details just because you will worry about him. My own now 36 year old son was sort of homeless for a bit. His father paid for him to stay at various hotels. But once a friend's mom called to tell me off for abandoning my son. I told her the truth and she said, "Well, he'll know love in my house!" and slammed the phone down. Three weeks later she threw him out and didn't even call to apologize :) I just believe it is wrong to involve others in our problems without giving them all the facts. Many of our difficult child have done things to those who tried to help them that are unthinkable. Read JKF's story or jeanne_in_Ca's story. We never think our kids could be THAT bad, but sometimes they are and anyone getting into it at our request should, be told. In my own opinion, which may not be everyone's opinion, it is a moral obligation. And people will know and probably already do know that your son abuses drugs. The entire world seemed to know my daughter used drugs. It got back to me from people I never even talked to, but bad behavior is fodder for gossip... As for your son, I wouldn't tell him to do or not to do anything. He's an adult now and won't listen to you anyway. How is he going to get the money to afford the rent? I'm sorry you're still so worried. Sending you good vibes and prayers. [/QUOTE]
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Do I confide in my friend?
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