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<blockquote data-quote="mom_to_3" data-source="post: 154722" data-attributes="member: 30"><p>Okay, I've got to get this figured out and settled in my head today. As I mentioned in my other post, there is a "family meeting" regarding my grandson with CPS on Monday. I was told that this meeting was for anyone that had an interest in his well being. I definitely have an interest, but since I just engaged in a screaming match with my difficult child and told her to never speak to me again, I wonder if I should even be there?</p><p></p><p>For my grandson, I should be there for sure. Even if I didn't have anything constructive to say, I want to know how his life is going. I'm concerned though, about my difficult child daughters reaction to me being there. I know that I can conduct myself in a civil manner and I don't have to cause trouble. I'm not so sure about my difficult child. It is not so much a stretch of the imagination that she could possibly begin ranting and raving that she doesn't want me there. I don't want to cause more heart ache. I want to be a part of the solution, and not a distraction.</p><p></p><p>Supposedly, there will be a mediator there. I guess the family is supposed to come up with idea's and suggestions on how best to stabilize life for our grandson and how to work towards reunification with his bio parents. If my difficult child see's me as the enemy, and she does, nothing I say will have any merit. Did I cut off my nose to spite my face last weekend? I'm beginning to think so, although the things I did say were true and needed to be said.</p><p></p><p>Relationship wise, I just can't imagine us getting over this. It's not so much what was said. I could probably get over what she said, (I don't know if she can get over what I said) but the fact that there is no give and take in regards to respect. She acts superior to me! I would like to be friendly with her, but always want her to know that I am her mother and I would like respect for that.</p><p></p><p>When I say respect, I really mean.......... like last weekend. I feel that I should have been able to go to her and tell her truthfully my opinion regarding the loss of her child to CPS. I didn't do that to be hurtful and I told her so. I have been biting my tongue for the last 7 years! Instead of her knowing and acknowledging the things I was saying, she became extremely defensive and "couldn't decide if she wanted to kick me out of the house she was staying or what?" In MY family and the one she was raised in, you don't kick your mother out!</p><p></p><p>I need some guidance, please. Will I be an asset or will I just be bringing more drama? I feel like calling the CPS caseworker and asking, but the new caseworker just assigned is a young male that appeared to be learning the ropes. I don't know how much to "dump" on him. All input appreciated.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mom_to_3, post: 154722, member: 30"] Okay, I've got to get this figured out and settled in my head today. As I mentioned in my other post, there is a "family meeting" regarding my grandson with CPS on Monday. I was told that this meeting was for anyone that had an interest in his well being. I definitely have an interest, but since I just engaged in a screaming match with my difficult child and told her to never speak to me again, I wonder if I should even be there? For my grandson, I should be there for sure. Even if I didn't have anything constructive to say, I want to know how his life is going. I'm concerned though, about my difficult child daughters reaction to me being there. I know that I can conduct myself in a civil manner and I don't have to cause trouble. I'm not so sure about my difficult child. It is not so much a stretch of the imagination that she could possibly begin ranting and raving that she doesn't want me there. I don't want to cause more heart ache. I want to be a part of the solution, and not a distraction. Supposedly, there will be a mediator there. I guess the family is supposed to come up with idea's and suggestions on how best to stabilize life for our grandson and how to work towards reunification with his bio parents. If my difficult child see's me as the enemy, and she does, nothing I say will have any merit. Did I cut off my nose to spite my face last weekend? I'm beginning to think so, although the things I did say were true and needed to be said. Relationship wise, I just can't imagine us getting over this. It's not so much what was said. I could probably get over what she said, (I don't know if she can get over what I said) but the fact that there is no give and take in regards to respect. She acts superior to me! I would like to be friendly with her, but always want her to know that I am her mother and I would like respect for that. When I say respect, I really mean.......... like last weekend. I feel that I should have been able to go to her and tell her truthfully my opinion regarding the loss of her child to CPS. I didn't do that to be hurtful and I told her so. I have been biting my tongue for the last 7 years! Instead of her knowing and acknowledging the things I was saying, she became extremely defensive and "couldn't decide if she wanted to kick me out of the house she was staying or what?" In MY family and the one she was raised in, you don't kick your mother out! I need some guidance, please. Will I be an asset or will I just be bringing more drama? I feel like calling the CPS caseworker and asking, but the new caseworker just assigned is a young male that appeared to be learning the ropes. I don't know how much to "dump" on him. All input appreciated. [/QUOTE]
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