Do not deserve this.....this is wrong

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by timer lady, Jul 10, 2009.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I had a mtg earlier this week with Risk Management SW for kt. She noted I was having significant troubles with word finding (worse than usual), my right eye is completely closed & won't open for the life of me & I fell in front of her.

    I tried to brush it off but didn't succeed. kt has been expressing her fears & concerns over my health. I have reassured her that I'm taking care of everything.

    Having said that, SW called team lead & mental health case manager. MH case manager call CPS. I've been reported to CPS. After all that I've done & advocated for the tweedles I am now being reported to CPS. kt will soon have a guardian ad litem; after that I have no idea what is in store for the tweedle household.

    I am ANGRY ~ I am humiliated & fearful. I have never raised my hand in anger; rarely raise my voice. I'm more of the quiet but deadly (haha) kind of parent.

    I spent the afternoon in my room ~ ignoring kt & all that's been going on here. Just could not take another thing coming my way. Another decision or argument from kt.

    I've not said this out loud very often. I know I can say it here with-o judgement. I truly regret adopting the tweedles. Once more I'm down on my knees. I informed Risk Manager SW that she did what she felt needed to be done. I also told her that I'm losing my capacity to care where & how the tweedles turn out. You can take just so much before you lose the part of you the cares.

    I will always love my children ~ caring or even liking them is a whole other story.
  2. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    I'm very sorry this is happening, it is an injustice. Hopefully, they will just want an alternative "plan" in place...I can't imagine they want to take custody of the tweedles. You are incredible, they should know that!!!
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I'm so sorry. Did I miss something or did they call CPS for no reason whatsoever to suspect abuse or neglect? Are they just thinking that you can't take care of the tweedles anymore?

    I have never understood why it seems the system doesn't want to provide adequaate help- saying they can't- but don't mind threatening to remove a child altogether. I recently told someone that for a system that can't afford or find help for parents, they sure seem to pretty unappreciative of parents that are doing everything they can.
  4. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    I'm so sorry Linda. I can't imagine though, that with all of the tweedle's issues that they would disrupt them. Maybe the powers that be can get YOU some extra assistance just for now. I don't know...I'm trying to figure out a positve in all of this. Many gentle HUGS.
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Klmno, I think it is because of her physical symptoms that Kt. is finding fearful (evidently) and the subsequent observation of symptoms. I'm assuming that NOBODY would suggest she is anything other than a terrific Mom but at least one suplemental caregiver thinks she may need help. DDD
  6. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Well, it is normal for a child to be fearful of ill health of a surviving parent for some time after the loss of one parent. Whho on earth thinks the solution to that is complete removal from the surviving parent?
  7. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Let's not get ahead of ourselves here. So far there's only been a report made, I'm sure out of concern, right or wrong, for the entire household. I know Linda is rightly upset right now but I don't want to make assumptions. Nothing could come of this or it could maybe mean some added help for the household.

    Linda, we're here for you. Vent, yell, cry, whatever. We're here with open arms.
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    This is absurd. I am so sorry.

    You know, back when I was a caseworker for social services I had a somewhat similar case in my files. I had a very elderly grandmother...maybe even great-grandmother who was the caregiver for a young boy about 4 years old who had asthma. One of the things we had to have verified at every review was doctor visits. This little boys doctor wrote on the verification form that the grandma kept taking the boy either to the ER or into the office on an almost daily basis because she didnt understand the nebulizer or his pump medications and could we help her.

    Well...I couldnt do much but I sent a report over to CPS asking if there was anyway they could provide some sort of inhome help for this woman given both her age and the medical condition of this child.

    NOPE!!!! Elderly, illiterate grandma would just have to muddle through.
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Oh, Linda, I am so sorry! I think often the SW's have such a short span of attention. They seem to forget that you are the one who fought so hard for the tweedles, and also that you are hurting now also.

    Instead of providing more support, they are slamming you when you are down already.

    I am sorry your body is betraying you. I am sorry that signs of physical illness/disability are taken as you not being a good mom. NOTHING could be farther from the truth. Nothing.

    I think the tweedles are very selfish. They are using your illness and husband's death to cause conflama. While I know you love them, I think not liking them or their actions right now is probably a very rational response.

    I hope CPS blows it off. I really do. But mostly I hope this doesn't place more pressure on you. The more pressure, the more your body reacts.

    Let it all out here. Or, if the social workers might come here, let it out in PM's or emails. I will send you my email by pm. Heck, you can call me if you want. Or I will call you.

    Just know we are here and we are on your side.

    I am sor very sorry.

    Gentle hugs,

  10. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I can certainly understand your rage, Linda.

    I guess my first reaction was similar to 'stang's..........that this might be a very GOOD thing in the grand scheme of more support being offered for YOU.

    The last thing social service agencies want to do is disrupt an adoption. I hope they come up with something that helps make your life a little easier.

  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    The last thing social services wants to do is offer ANYTHING!
  12. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Let's hope TL just needs to explain that she's addressing her medical issues as best she can without any much needed help and she's still addressing kt's, then they will leave her alone. I doubt they'll offer help too- especially since everyone is in financial despair these days. Except AIG execs.
  13. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Janet, we had to do that with Rob. We had to report everything to his docs and PO in order to get more services. It wasn't until he was deemed basically incorrigible that we qualified for Wraparound services, Residential Treatment Center (RTC), etc. It's that kind of thing that I was thinking of....that maybe there are additional services for Linda that she can qualify for if it goes into the record how much her physical abilities/stamina have been compromised.

  14. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    This is just over the top. Good Lord. I'm basically speechless. This does not count the stream of swear words that came spewing out of my mouth as I read your post.

    The injustice rankles every nerve in my body.:mad:

    Yes, you are in bad health. But regardless, you have a whole team of people supporting both you and kt during this time. What more do they expect? It's not like you're trying to care for her completely alone.

    Of course then I think of all the other children out there living with physically ill parents in just as bad or worse shape........and no one even seems to notice them and those parents don't get support to help with their kids,

    I do not blame you one bit for the anger. OMG I just want to deck someone.

    I don't fault kt so much because most likely she was expressing normal worry for an ill parent. At her age the dramatics do tend to go over the top....even for pcs.

    But you've be reported. That doesn't mean they're going to do anything. Most likely sw decided to cover her own arse by doing this due to the law that makes it manditory to report such things.

    I'm so sorry Linda. You are the last person on earth to deserve this.

  15. graceupongrace

    graceupongrace New Member


    I wish I could offer great wisdom, but I can't. Just hugs. :sad-very:
  16. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I would love to come and spend some time with these people in a small enclosed room! We know how much you've done, the sacrifices you've made, the work you've put into raising these children. I'm sorry.
  17. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Hugs. I am sorry you have to go thru this, and hope it ends how you want it to. No matter what anyone says or implies, you are a great mother to children who have suffered from unimaginable abuse.
  18. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Oh, Linda, I am so sorry. I wish I had some answers for you. All I have are lots of hugs and all the support you want.
  19. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry Linda. I'm sorry that your body is failing you, no matter how hard you try. My gut feeling was that this could end up being a good thing, like some others have said. I don't think anyone thinks you are a bad parent, but because of your health situation, something needs to change. Kt is certainly taking advantage of you not being able to be on top of her. You are going to get worse just from all of the stressors.

    Whatever comes of this, I pray that it is the right thing for all of you. You deserve for things to go the right way.
  20. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I know Suz...I am just mad and reacting to the anger I feel for her and as I would feel as a fellow disabled person. Also I know that the CPS here wouldnt do a darned thing for her. I have seen them in action.