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Do people choose who they love?
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 338031" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>I believe that beyond the initial basic animal attraction to potential spouses, or even a new best friend, we do choose who we love. We may have Potential to love someone but choose otherwise. Sometimes we know that we could love a person but opt to not let ourselves and to move on, or to block our feelings from growing. For various reasons I guess.</p><p>I also think that to begin to truly love someone, we have by that point accepted that we are willing to take that leap, that risk that comes with emeshing our hearts with someone else. Knowing they can hurt us, those that we don't care much about can't hurt us much. But those we can love? They are given that power to hurt us by virtue of us caring enough to love them.</p><p>I also think that in some circumstances, we can turn our love completely off. Which lends credence to choosing to turn it on to begin with. I remember I fought for my relationship to work with easy child's father. I wanted it so badly to work and I remember loving him very deeply and it was probably the one time that I worked to save a relationship until the very second it ended. Then suddenly one day, I chose. I chose to stop the fruitless fight and without any thought really, told him it was over. I was shocked that I really right away realized I had let myself stop being in love with him. Just like that. I couldn't remain invested any longer, so I just suddenly wasn't. I still remember it was so weird. </p><p>Interesting thread!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 338031, member: 4264"] I believe that beyond the initial basic animal attraction to potential spouses, or even a new best friend, we do choose who we love. We may have Potential to love someone but choose otherwise. Sometimes we know that we could love a person but opt to not let ourselves and to move on, or to block our feelings from growing. For various reasons I guess. I also think that to begin to truly love someone, we have by that point accepted that we are willing to take that leap, that risk that comes with emeshing our hearts with someone else. Knowing they can hurt us, those that we don't care much about can't hurt us much. But those we can love? They are given that power to hurt us by virtue of us caring enough to love them. I also think that in some circumstances, we can turn our love completely off. Which lends credence to choosing to turn it on to begin with. I remember I fought for my relationship to work with easy child's father. I wanted it so badly to work and I remember loving him very deeply and it was probably the one time that I worked to save a relationship until the very second it ended. Then suddenly one day, I chose. I chose to stop the fruitless fight and without any thought really, told him it was over. I was shocked that I really right away realized I had let myself stop being in love with him. Just like that. I couldn't remain invested any longer, so I just suddenly wasn't. I still remember it was so weird. Interesting thread!!! [/QUOTE]
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Do people choose who they love?
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