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Do people choose who they love?
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 338759" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Wow- there are some interesting thoughts here! I don't think we have any control over whether or not there is an initial spark- although I feel sure that it has more to do with how we think than anything. But I agree that we have a choice in things. I guess I look at it like that way because first, sometimes a person would be convenient to date, but I've had absolutely no romantic spark. Then again, I've had that heart flip before but immediately had the thought that the person was off-limits or I thought it thru and decided nothing could really work or come from it. Sometimes it's because I had other priorities than dating anyone at the time.</p><p></p><p>on the other hand, thinking about how so many arranged marriages work and so forth, maybe when we believe that a person can be and will be most everything we want in a mate, we "allow" ourselves to fall in love with them. I'm not sure- I only started thinking about that after reading all these responses.</p><p></p><p>But there was once when I fell in love with someone and I didn't see it coming at all. I could have prevented it by not getting to know the person had I been mature or wise enough or whatever to see it coming, but I really felt that I had no choice in the matter at the time.</p><p></p><p>To me, the long-term commitment being a choice is a no-brainer.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 338759, member: 3699"] Wow- there are some interesting thoughts here! I don't think we have any control over whether or not there is an initial spark- although I feel sure that it has more to do with how we think than anything. But I agree that we have a choice in things. I guess I look at it like that way because first, sometimes a person would be convenient to date, but I've had absolutely no romantic spark. Then again, I've had that heart flip before but immediately had the thought that the person was off-limits or I thought it thru and decided nothing could really work or come from it. Sometimes it's because I had other priorities than dating anyone at the time. on the other hand, thinking about how so many arranged marriages work and so forth, maybe when we believe that a person can be and will be most everything we want in a mate, we "allow" ourselves to fall in love with them. I'm not sure- I only started thinking about that after reading all these responses. But there was once when I fell in love with someone and I didn't see it coming at all. I could have prevented it by not getting to know the person had I been mature or wise enough or whatever to see it coming, but I really felt that I had no choice in the matter at the time. To me, the long-term commitment being a choice is a no-brainer. [/QUOTE]
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