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General Parenting
Do Relatives have brains before they open their mouth?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 221121" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Critterlover, don't take it on board. She clearly isn't someone whose opinion counts much with anyone.</p><p></p><p>What I'd be more incensed about - she throws her opinion around like that but doesn't practice what she preaches.</p><p></p><p>And as for the boys eating someone else's food in the cellar - I'd have told her, if only to explain why her boys probably wouldn't want to eat their dinner. I'd have also given her the half-empty jars, since once they're opened it needs to be used up and she may as well get to finish it all. I'd hand them over politely, but very publicly too. With a smile. "Those boys of yours are so hungry, don't you ever feed them? Would you believe, they helped themselves to these sealed spaghetti sauce jars in the larder; they clearly enjoy some home cooking for a change!"</p><p>She wouldn't be able to refuse them without losing even more face.</p><p></p><p>And Star - your first comment definitely, but not the second. The second is the one you think.</p><p></p><p>As for bi*** slapping - all that would do is confirm her negative opinion of you and provide more fuel for negative gossip. Sometimes it's much better revenge to prove them wrong, publicly. With a sweet smile. It's also much more enjoyable for longer, because you can always look back with a smile and know you never lowered yourself to her level.</p><p></p><p>Family members are often the ones most in denial. Older family members are especially in denial if there is any possibly psychiatric component to a problem (or they think there is). There used to be a lot of stigma to psychiatric treatment, my mother in law is still very prejudiced about it, to the point of fear. There have been times over the years when I've had to lie to my in-laws about treatments for any of us, because they wouldn't have handled it. I was very resentful about this because it was often at a time when I would have valued talking to them about our problems; only they would never have accepted the involvement of a psychiatrist.</p><p></p><p>I'd be ignoring her. The fact that sister in law told you about it says SHE was at least scandalised on your behalf. Sounds like this aunt is in a minority.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 221121, member: 1991"] Critterlover, don't take it on board. She clearly isn't someone whose opinion counts much with anyone. What I'd be more incensed about - she throws her opinion around like that but doesn't practice what she preaches. And as for the boys eating someone else's food in the cellar - I'd have told her, if only to explain why her boys probably wouldn't want to eat their dinner. I'd have also given her the half-empty jars, since once they're opened it needs to be used up and she may as well get to finish it all. I'd hand them over politely, but very publicly too. With a smile. "Those boys of yours are so hungry, don't you ever feed them? Would you believe, they helped themselves to these sealed spaghetti sauce jars in the larder; they clearly enjoy some home cooking for a change!" She wouldn't be able to refuse them without losing even more face. And Star - your first comment definitely, but not the second. The second is the one you think. As for bi*** slapping - all that would do is confirm her negative opinion of you and provide more fuel for negative gossip. Sometimes it's much better revenge to prove them wrong, publicly. With a sweet smile. It's also much more enjoyable for longer, because you can always look back with a smile and know you never lowered yourself to her level. Family members are often the ones most in denial. Older family members are especially in denial if there is any possibly psychiatric component to a problem (or they think there is). There used to be a lot of stigma to psychiatric treatment, my mother in law is still very prejudiced about it, to the point of fear. There have been times over the years when I've had to lie to my in-laws about treatments for any of us, because they wouldn't have handled it. I was very resentful about this because it was often at a time when I would have valued talking to them about our problems; only they would never have accepted the involvement of a psychiatrist. I'd be ignoring her. The fact that sister in law told you about it says SHE was at least scandalised on your behalf. Sounds like this aunt is in a minority. Marg [/QUOTE]
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