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Substance Abuse
Do they just want to destroy their mamma?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 652237" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I cannot get the PM/conversation thing to work, and it wouldn't let me edit either, sorry.</p><p></p><p>Your boys are wrong-headed idiots lashing out at you because they feel bad about their choices and they KNOW that they are going against the values, beliefs and principals that you and your husband worked so hard to teach them. </p><p></p><p>You are not going to be able to really help your sons until they choose to grow up. Both boys are incredible manipulators and work really hard to keep you upset and off balance. Why do they do this? Partly they do it because they can get you upset and distracted and then maneuver you into doing what they want or giving them what they want. It is also the long standing dynamic between the you. Another part of why they do it is because they enjoy it on some level. It fills some need.</p><p></p><p>Please don't let youngest push you into a breakdown. At this point the stuff he tells you is all lies. Even if some of the actions truly happened, his story behind them is just absolute hogwash. I don't even know if he could see the reality of his life choices and his responsibility for them if it hit him like lightening. The drugs have messed him up so bad that his reality is not even close to your reality. </p><p></p><p>Oldest has used drugs to create his own reality also, and he knows that what he is saying about you is a lie and just plain idiotic. He lashes out like this each and every time his encounters a real problem like his drug use and the consequences. If he can blame you then he doesn't have to take responsibility. If he can create conflama (conflict + drama) then the focus is on you and how you are having problems and not his problems and how he brought them on himself. </p><p></p><p>Please work on not letting the stupidity coming out of your sons' mouths upset you overly.</p><p></p><p>If you ever TRULY want to tweak Oldest, you can tell him what I told a friend years ago. She was trying to 'save' me by shoving her version of religion down my throat, and it was one of the super strict to the point of insanity versions. I said it was real nice that she wanted to pray for me, so I would work real hard to give her every reason to need to pray for me. </p><p></p><p>Poor girl wasn't terribly bright. It took her 3 days to understand that I was NOT agreeing to go to her church or agreeing to be 'saved' by her pastor. </p><p></p><p>I am truly, deeply sorry that oldest has returned to drugs and that youngest seems to just want to wallow in, whine about and mooch to support his habit and choices. You are an amazing, loving, truly beautiful person and we are all lucky to know you. </p><p></p><p>(((((hugs)))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 652237, member: 1233"] I cannot get the PM/conversation thing to work, and it wouldn't let me edit either, sorry. Your boys are wrong-headed idiots lashing out at you because they feel bad about their choices and they KNOW that they are going against the values, beliefs and principals that you and your husband worked so hard to teach them. You are not going to be able to really help your sons until they choose to grow up. Both boys are incredible manipulators and work really hard to keep you upset and off balance. Why do they do this? Partly they do it because they can get you upset and distracted and then maneuver you into doing what they want or giving them what they want. It is also the long standing dynamic between the you. Another part of why they do it is because they enjoy it on some level. It fills some need. Please don't let youngest push you into a breakdown. At this point the stuff he tells you is all lies. Even if some of the actions truly happened, his story behind them is just absolute hogwash. I don't even know if he could see the reality of his life choices and his responsibility for them if it hit him like lightening. The drugs have messed him up so bad that his reality is not even close to your reality. Oldest has used drugs to create his own reality also, and he knows that what he is saying about you is a lie and just plain idiotic. He lashes out like this each and every time his encounters a real problem like his drug use and the consequences. If he can blame you then he doesn't have to take responsibility. If he can create conflama (conflict + drama) then the focus is on you and how you are having problems and not his problems and how he brought them on himself. Please work on not letting the stupidity coming out of your sons' mouths upset you overly. If you ever TRULY want to tweak Oldest, you can tell him what I told a friend years ago. She was trying to 'save' me by shoving her version of religion down my throat, and it was one of the super strict to the point of insanity versions. I said it was real nice that she wanted to pray for me, so I would work real hard to give her every reason to need to pray for me. Poor girl wasn't terribly bright. It took her 3 days to understand that I was NOT agreeing to go to her church or agreeing to be 'saved' by her pastor. I am truly, deeply sorry that oldest has returned to drugs and that youngest seems to just want to wallow in, whine about and mooch to support his habit and choices. You are an amazing, loving, truly beautiful person and we are all lucky to know you. (((((hugs))))) [/QUOTE]
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Do they just want to destroy their mamma?
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