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Substance Abuse
Do they just want to destroy their mamma?
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 652627" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>Thank you all again...</p><p></p><p>Remarkably, I am feeling better this morning! </p><p>I have talked more with husband about the situation with oldest difficult child. It would appear that oldest and his wife are trying to make themselves righteous. They even removed cable last week so as to not watch anything unseemly. </p><p>Oldest thinks I am "of the flesh" because of the psychotic breakdown, casino, cigarettes...obviously thinks that I am not even close to God...if he only knew how often I pray! </p><p>It's unfortunate that he does not understand mental illness in our family either. I hope and pray that none of his daughters have inherited it...or surely they will be shunned and "cast out" too. </p><p>Also, in regard to his DWI and hydrocodone use...he wants to know why "he is evil?" These are things he asked/discussed with husband. Oldest looks at himself as somehow being able to "earn" God's grace...this is certainly not how husband and I believe...though there was a time that I thought that I too could shield and protect my kids from all the ugly out in the world and therefore ensure a better outcome. Boy was I mistaken! So anyway, oldest is stuck and suffering and I think his "holier than thou" wife is also adding to his suffering. I actually feel sorry for him. </p><p></p><p>And then there's youngest difficult child ...He called me last night talking about the earth the moon the stars the universe...how there MUST be someone/something looking back at us. Then he went on to say that he might jump over a bridge. I did not react. Some may say I am wrong for not calling the police again...but I didn't. I just told him I loved him and had to go. The last time I called the police he told them..."I was just trying to get my mother's attention." </p><p></p><p>Kathy, I think you are correct that I need some boundaries in place as neither of my son's are treating me kindly or lovingly. They both seem to be lost in addiction and skewed thinking. </p><p></p><p>I will be fine...I will draw closer to the relationships that do work...with husband, easy child, my grandchildren AND YES God. I do not want to lose myself in my son's path's. You all are correct that I need to let Go...</p><p>This addiction thing is bigger than me and I believe that if I get in the way...I could get seriously hurt again. So for now...I am going to keep my distance with my son's. I have decided to not taking any more phone calls from Youngest difficult child for at least a week...maybe longer...but I just don't need to be wrapped up in the drama at this point. </p><p></p><p>Comatheart, </p><p>I have not heard of the book, "The Joey song"...but it sounds like a very good read and I like the message. Thank you for recommending it to me. </p><p></p><p>Love,</p><p>LMS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 652627, member: 3305"] Thank you all again... Remarkably, I am feeling better this morning! I have talked more with husband about the situation with oldest difficult child. It would appear that oldest and his wife are trying to make themselves righteous. They even removed cable last week so as to not watch anything unseemly. Oldest thinks I am "of the flesh" because of the psychotic breakdown, casino, cigarettes...obviously thinks that I am not even close to God...if he only knew how often I pray! It's unfortunate that he does not understand mental illness in our family either. I hope and pray that none of his daughters have inherited it...or surely they will be shunned and "cast out" too. Also, in regard to his DWI and hydrocodone use...he wants to know why "he is evil?" These are things he asked/discussed with husband. Oldest looks at himself as somehow being able to "earn" God's grace...this is certainly not how husband and I believe...though there was a time that I thought that I too could shield and protect my kids from all the ugly out in the world and therefore ensure a better outcome. Boy was I mistaken! So anyway, oldest is stuck and suffering and I think his "holier than thou" wife is also adding to his suffering. I actually feel sorry for him. And then there's youngest difficult child ...He called me last night talking about the earth the moon the stars the universe...how there MUST be someone/something looking back at us. Then he went on to say that he might jump over a bridge. I did not react. Some may say I am wrong for not calling the police again...but I didn't. I just told him I loved him and had to go. The last time I called the police he told them..."I was just trying to get my mother's attention." Kathy, I think you are correct that I need some boundaries in place as neither of my son's are treating me kindly or lovingly. They both seem to be lost in addiction and skewed thinking. I will be fine...I will draw closer to the relationships that do work...with husband, easy child, my grandchildren AND YES God. I do not want to lose myself in my son's path's. You all are correct that I need to let Go... This addiction thing is bigger than me and I believe that if I get in the way...I could get seriously hurt again. So for now...I am going to keep my distance with my son's. I have decided to not taking any more phone calls from Youngest difficult child for at least a week...maybe longer...but I just don't need to be wrapped up in the drama at this point. Comatheart, I have not heard of the book, "The Joey song"...but it sounds like a very good read and I like the message. Thank you for recommending it to me. Love, LMS [/QUOTE]
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