So - good news is husband finally asked me to find him a counselor to help him deal with- his panic attacks. But we're sitting here really confused and wondering if we've been doing this relationship thing all wrong, LOL. When I was in counseling a year or so ago, my therapist seemed really *really* surprised that husband and I don't sit down and talk about our feelings. We just don't do it. There's enough fertilizer flying through our days that we just get through them, and then get up to do it again the next day. We don't "share" or really talk about how we feel about our days because... well, I think generally our days are so stress-filled, what's the point of talking about it? So husband saw his therapist yesterday and once again, she was floored that we don't talk about our feelings. More than that, that we don't argue. We have really heated discussions, frequently, about politics or social issues, crime, sports, commercials, gun control, etc. We are complete opposites. But we don't argue. I can't even remember the last real argument we had - probably over thank you but that had to have been at least 14 years ago. But even then, it wasn't a yelling bickering *fight*. I think we've maybe had 5 real arguments in our almost 26 years together, but they were probably all within the first 5 years. Even when we were thinking about splitting up (15 years ago?), there were no fights or arguments. That was more over the daily stresses of a blossoming full-blown difficult child and zero outside support, and when it came right down to it, we decided we liked/loved each other more than we hated our lives together, so we made it work. My parents fought constantly. Really down and dirty, name calling, just nasty fights. They were miserable for years - we all were. I made a very conscious decision when I got married that I was not going to fight dirty. No bringing up past bad acts, no name calling, no intentional wounding of my mate. We don't have any friends (okay, that looks pathetic, but... it is what it is, we're happy, so whatever) so we really don't have a clue what "normal" is, like there is a "normal", I know, but ... we're beginning to wonder if we're more insane than we think we are because we don't fight. Don't get me wrong - there are things about him that make me nuts, and I'm sure I drive him crazy too, but none of it (apparently) is enough to cause strife and tension. If something really bugs us, eventually we'll sit down and talk about it, but usually days afterwards when we're not in the heat of it. I'm beginning to think the kindest thing the preacher who married us did for us was tell us that he really *didn't* want to marry us - that we were just too different and we didn't have a chance of making a marriage work. Maybe we're both just so stubborn that we (sub)consciously decided to *make* it work. It hasn't been easy but I think the hardest times were because of things that happened to us as a couple, not because of us *as* a couple. So... do you guys fight? Are husband and I completely aberrant?