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General Parenting
Do you find it difficult to compliment your difficult child?
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 141765" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Yes and no. I don't have a problem telling her she looks nice. I was taught by my mother to find one positive thing to say to another every day. It was one of her better lessons. So, I make sure I've said something good to my daughter at least once during the day no matter how angry I am at her. There are times this is very difficult, especially when my resentment is sky high.</p><p> </p><p>I cannot compliment her on a job well done, though. To me, you do your chores because you have to. No matter what you do, you do the very best job possible, so why would you get a compliment for doing what you should be doing. Sadly, my daughter needs the Brownie points. I'm just not capable of giving them unless she specifically asks.</p><p> </p><p>I do know when I'm angry or resentful, it is harder to say something nice. Sniping comes much more naturally. What I have done is snipe and then apologize because what was said was really not fair to either of us -- it was beneath me and she didn't deserve at that time. I also let her know I sniped because I was frustrated and upset about other issues. I would then leave the door open by telling her I would love to talk about these issues when she was ready. It has saved us a few times. Not necessariy changed anything but at least cleared the air.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 141765, member: 3626"] Yes and no. I don't have a problem telling her she looks nice. I was taught by my mother to find one positive thing to say to another every day. It was one of her better lessons. So, I make sure I've said something good to my daughter at least once during the day no matter how angry I am at her. There are times this is very difficult, especially when my resentment is sky high. I cannot compliment her on a job well done, though. To me, you do your chores because you have to. No matter what you do, you do the very best job possible, so why would you get a compliment for doing what you should be doing. Sadly, my daughter needs the Brownie points. I'm just not capable of giving them unless she specifically asks. I do know when I'm angry or resentful, it is harder to say something nice. Sniping comes much more naturally. What I have done is snipe and then apologize because what was said was really not fair to either of us -- it was beneath me and she didn't deserve at that time. I also let her know I sniped because I was frustrated and upset about other issues. I would then leave the door open by telling her I would love to talk about these issues when she was ready. It has saved us a few times. Not necessariy changed anything but at least cleared the air. [/QUOTE]
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Do you find it difficult to compliment your difficult child?
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