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Do you think I have a reason to be hurt/upset?
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<blockquote data-quote="donna723" data-source="post: 15413" data-attributes="member: 1883"><p>Janet, I don't think it's "small potatoes" at all! I don't blame you a bit for being upset! I think too that she sounds spoiled and ungrateful, and to not thank you for your thoughtful gifts for her baby is just downright rude! And she's making a HUGE mistake to alienate her childs' grandmother - future mother in law? - really starting off on the wrong foot! Even the ditzy one that MY son married had the sense to at least PRETEND to be nice ... at first anyway! I hate to say this, but I hope Jamie is looking at this behavior very closely and sees it for what it is. Somebody needs to have a talk with him about it, if not his brother, then you. It sounds like she has no interest in maintaining a cordial relationship with his family, a very bad sign, and it will just get worse when they get married. And for her to criticize the Christmas gifts he gave her in front of everybody was totally uncool, cruel, extremely rude and thoughtless! If she didn't like them, she should have just kept her mouth shut! His feelings should have been more important than whether she liked the d*mn gifts or not! And not to go "Emily Postal" on you here, but I always thought that it was considered kind of "grabby" for the MOTHER to give a bridal or baby shower for her daughter! It should be a close friend, cousin, etc.</p><p></p><p>I know what you mean about the money issues too. I am divorced and make just enough to pay my bills and go on an occasional Wal Mart romp. My daughter married a man whose parents are not rich, but "comfortable". I would love to have been able to give them a lavish wedding but I just couldn't and her dad is a walking disaster area! No help there. They were going to have a modest wedding and pay for it themselves, but his mom volunteered to turn it into a big whoop-dee-doo and I let her! They KNOW that I can't compete financially and it's not an issue. Nobody expects me to. HIS mom helped them with the down payment on their house. They used the birthday money I sent them to buy a new dishwasher and they were thrilled with it! In fact, they would probably be upset if they thought that I spent more on them than I could afford!</p><p></p><p>And when the grandkids come, it will be the same thing. HIS parents live in the same town with them, I live 600 miles away! It will be no contest - HIS mom will be "Grandma" and I will be "that lady that comes once a year - who the H*ll is she?!?". Even their DOG knows HIS mom as "Grandma"! All they have to say is, "Do you want to go to Grandmas?" and he gets all excited! He LOVES to go to "Grandmas" house! He has treats buried all over her back yard! Ah well ... it looks like we'll be in the same boat!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="donna723, post: 15413, member: 1883"] Janet, I don't think it's "small potatoes" at all! I don't blame you a bit for being upset! I think too that she sounds spoiled and ungrateful, and to not thank you for your thoughtful gifts for her baby is just downright rude! And she's making a HUGE mistake to alienate her childs' grandmother - future mother in law? - really starting off on the wrong foot! Even the ditzy one that MY son married had the sense to at least PRETEND to be nice ... at first anyway! I hate to say this, but I hope Jamie is looking at this behavior very closely and sees it for what it is. Somebody needs to have a talk with him about it, if not his brother, then you. It sounds like she has no interest in maintaining a cordial relationship with his family, a very bad sign, and it will just get worse when they get married. And for her to criticize the Christmas gifts he gave her in front of everybody was totally uncool, cruel, extremely rude and thoughtless! If she didn't like them, she should have just kept her mouth shut! His feelings should have been more important than whether she liked the d*mn gifts or not! And not to go "Emily Postal" on you here, but I always thought that it was considered kind of "grabby" for the MOTHER to give a bridal or baby shower for her daughter! It should be a close friend, cousin, etc. I know what you mean about the money issues too. I am divorced and make just enough to pay my bills and go on an occasional Wal Mart romp. My daughter married a man whose parents are not rich, but "comfortable". I would love to have been able to give them a lavish wedding but I just couldn't and her dad is a walking disaster area! No help there. They were going to have a modest wedding and pay for it themselves, but his mom volunteered to turn it into a big whoop-dee-doo and I let her! They KNOW that I can't compete financially and it's not an issue. Nobody expects me to. HIS mom helped them with the down payment on their house. They used the birthday money I sent them to buy a new dishwasher and they were thrilled with it! In fact, they would probably be upset if they thought that I spent more on them than I could afford! And when the grandkids come, it will be the same thing. HIS parents live in the same town with them, I live 600 miles away! It will be no contest - HIS mom will be "Grandma" and I will be "that lady that comes once a year - who the H*ll is she?!?". Even their DOG knows HIS mom as "Grandma"! All they have to say is, "Do you want to go to Grandmas?" and he gets all excited! He LOVES to go to "Grandmas" house! He has treats buried all over her back yard! Ah well ... it looks like we'll be in the same boat! [/QUOTE]
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