Kalahou, Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement and support. I was trying to reply to your post and think I did something wrong, so hope you see this. I went back and read your earlier posts about your son and I definitely can relate. My son has not lived at home for a very long time. He has always had issues and my husband and I let him come back home when he was in his mid twenties and wasn't making it on his own. I talked my son into getting some counseling, which went on for eight months. Took him to our family doctor and he put him on an anti-depressant. Tried to encourage and help him in any way we could, but when he would oversleep and be late or not go into work, and just stay up all night and do nothing all day, he was making me nuts and I couldn't take it any more. So, on the advice of the counselor, we drew up a "contract" with him, to look for work, that sort of thing, even with rewards! He didn't want to abide by it and decided to leave home and live with a friend. He has not lived at home since, and I thought then (almost 15 yrs. ago) I was done enabling. But, we have continued to supply him with a car and insurance, and have bailed him out on many occasions when he couldn't make rent. My problem with him is that I feel he has a good heart, and I feel sorry for him. He was classified as behavioral disordered in school. I thought they were wrong, because he never acted out or was violent or any of that. He's just always had low self esteem and is introverted. He was bullied in his early teens and it was heart breaking. I'm at a crisis point with him again, because he is being evicted from his apt. and I knew this day was coming and we can no longer afford and no longer want to financially help him. I'm so worried about him, because he'll be homeless and it's winter. He lives 6 hrs from us. I'm mad at myself for not being stronger. I'm so tired of crying whenever I talk about him. I've gotten counseling myself and she said it was o.k. to feel sorry for him, because I'm his mom. But, I know I have to let go and the detachment article is very good. It's hard though, because he's not a bad person and has never spoken rudely to us or anything like that. But, he only ever calls when he needs something. There has been very little joy in raising him, because we really don't have a relationship outside of us giving all the time and him taking and not giving anything in return. I just feel so, so sad. I will try and work on detaching. Any tips you can share in your journey are much appreciated. Thank you again!
