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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Does this ever end, he is now 33 and relapsing
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 495898" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>It is so sad when our child have mental health issues, which I assume he has. The hard part is watching it. There is nothing you can do for him if he doesn't want the help...he is an adult, even if he doesn't act like one. </p><p></p><p>in my opinion you need to accept that your son is every bit as much at fault as her and to take steps to protect your bank account. Do not share anything with your son...nothing. Change your account. Why does he have access to it? Change your e-mail and cell phone #. He doesn't need it. He's not a little boy. Buy a cheap pay for phone and have him contact you that way. If he or batty girlfriend want to abuse you, and you get tired of it, you can get let the phone ring, listen to the voice-mail first, and see what it's about and if you want to aggrevate yourself by talking to them. It should be your choice, not theirs. Since I have a 34 year old son, I have some idea of your age range, and you deserve to live the rest of your life concentrating on YOURSELF. This son is way too old to be bothering you. I would like to add that he is probably using drugs. That's likely why he is stealing. You can't fix him. He has to decide to fix himself. My advice is to concentrate on those who love and respect you...your husband and precious daughter and any grandchildren you have. Don't let him destroy your life along with his own. And don't allow toxic people to have any contact with you. The police can only order them to stop...they can't force it unless you want to continue to press charges...in my opinion it's easier to change everything so that they have no way to do it even if they want to.</p><p></p><p>Take good care of yourself and try to learn Detachment 101 (for more information on that see the Parent Emeritus forum on this board). You may want to visit that forum anyway. It's for parents who are dealing with adult children who are problems. </p><p></p><p>Hugggggz, and don't blame yourself for any of this. It is not your fault. You did everything you could for him. Now it's up to him. Keep going to those narc-anon meetings (you sound like you have at least gone at one time).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 495898, member: 1550"] It is so sad when our child have mental health issues, which I assume he has. The hard part is watching it. There is nothing you can do for him if he doesn't want the help...he is an adult, even if he doesn't act like one. in my opinion you need to accept that your son is every bit as much at fault as her and to take steps to protect your bank account. Do not share anything with your son...nothing. Change your account. Why does he have access to it? Change your e-mail and cell phone #. He doesn't need it. He's not a little boy. Buy a cheap pay for phone and have him contact you that way. If he or batty girlfriend want to abuse you, and you get tired of it, you can get let the phone ring, listen to the voice-mail first, and see what it's about and if you want to aggrevate yourself by talking to them. It should be your choice, not theirs. Since I have a 34 year old son, I have some idea of your age range, and you deserve to live the rest of your life concentrating on YOURSELF. This son is way too old to be bothering you. I would like to add that he is probably using drugs. That's likely why he is stealing. You can't fix him. He has to decide to fix himself. My advice is to concentrate on those who love and respect you...your husband and precious daughter and any grandchildren you have. Don't let him destroy your life along with his own. And don't allow toxic people to have any contact with you. The police can only order them to stop...they can't force it unless you want to continue to press charges...in my opinion it's easier to change everything so that they have no way to do it even if they want to. Take good care of yourself and try to learn Detachment 101 (for more information on that see the Parent Emeritus forum on this board). You may want to visit that forum anyway. It's for parents who are dealing with adult children who are problems. Hugggggz, and don't blame yourself for any of this. It is not your fault. You did everything you could for him. Now it's up to him. Keep going to those narc-anon meetings (you sound like you have at least gone at one time). [/QUOTE]
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Does this ever end, he is now 33 and relapsing
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