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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 562370" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>I have to echo JJJ. Just because you give him the phone does not mean he will use it to call you, or even answer it when you call. been there done that. We didn't hear from thank you for over 4 months after he went out on his own. He definitely had access to a phone, but it just never occurred to him to call, or he didn't want anything, or who knows why he didn't call - I think he was just so enamored with his new freedom and ongoing bad choices, he didn't think of anything else. I took to snooping on myspace and FB just to make sure he was still alive (literally). </p><p></p><p>Hindsight being 20/20, it was the best thing thank you could've done. I had time (and ample silence) to make peace with a lot of things concerning him. When he did initiate contact again, my head was in a much better place to deal with my newly adult child who was going to do what he was going to do and *not* do what I thought was in his best interest (though I quickly learned that it was better for all of us if I just kept my mouth shut <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> ).</p><p></p><p>Another thing to think about - how do you see conversations going if he does call you? I was shocked to discover what loaded questions "how are you?" and "whatcha' up to?" are. Literal child that he is, my kid would actually *tell* me. Yep - could've gone my whole life without knowing most of it.</p><p></p><p>I remember how horrible this stage was for my family, and my heart goes out to you. in my humble opinion, I think you should do what you feel you need to do, but remember that you cannot force him to call you any more than you could force good choices, appropriate treatment, and on and on, ad nauseum.</p><p></p><p>Hugs to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 562370, member: 8"] I have to echo JJJ. Just because you give him the phone does not mean he will use it to call you, or even answer it when you call. been there done that. We didn't hear from thank you for over 4 months after he went out on his own. He definitely had access to a phone, but it just never occurred to him to call, or he didn't want anything, or who knows why he didn't call - I think he was just so enamored with his new freedom and ongoing bad choices, he didn't think of anything else. I took to snooping on myspace and FB just to make sure he was still alive (literally). Hindsight being 20/20, it was the best thing thank you could've done. I had time (and ample silence) to make peace with a lot of things concerning him. When he did initiate contact again, my head was in a much better place to deal with my newly adult child who was going to do what he was going to do and *not* do what I thought was in his best interest (though I quickly learned that it was better for all of us if I just kept my mouth shut :winking: ). Another thing to think about - how do you see conversations going if he does call you? I was shocked to discover what loaded questions "how are you?" and "whatcha' up to?" are. Literal child that he is, my kid would actually *tell* me. Yep - could've gone my whole life without knowing most of it. I remember how horrible this stage was for my family, and my heart goes out to you. in my humble opinion, I think you should do what you feel you need to do, but remember that you cannot force him to call you any more than you could force good choices, appropriate treatment, and on and on, ad nauseum. Hugs to you. [/QUOTE]
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