Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Does your child blame you for everything?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 706030" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I would not accept the blame because it is total and utter nonsense. Unless you bought the drugs, prepared them, held them to his face and forced him to ingest them, you did NOT force him to use drugs. He CHOSE to use drugs and is looking for ANY reason to not accept responsibility for his choices. Because if he accepts responsibility, then some consequence might be his fault. In his mind, it is NEVER his fault. If it goes right, it is ONLY to his credit, due to his brilliance. But anything with a negative side? That could NEVER be a result of ANYTHING that he did, so it MUST be a result of something that YOU did!</p><p></p><p>This is child logic and child on drugs logic. It is stupid logic. It is logic that parents must reject because it is simply not reality. </p><p></p><p>It is simply not reality.</p><p></p><p>No change in school, no religion or lack of religion, no chore list or lack of computer time caused this. You didn't cause this by cooking the wrong thing for dinner either. Listen to how ridiculous this sounds. Not letting him have a computer in his bedroom caused him to use drugs. Seriously? That is ALL it takes? So all those parents who let their kids have computers in their rooms have kids who don't use drugs? I don't think so. In fact, I know an awful lot of kids with computers in their rooms who use drugs. It is easier to use drugs if you have a computer in your room, or a phone in your room at night, because you can communicate with people without your parents knowing about it. </p><p></p><p>If what your son says is true, then ALL of your kids would be drug users. They are not. HE is a drug user because he CHOOSES to be one. PERIOD.</p><p></p><p>Unless you woke up in the morning and asked yourself "what can I do today to mess my child up the most that I can?", let yourself off the hook because you are a good parent. Anything you did that messed up your child, you did unintentionally. Now if you asked that question and followed through, things are different. But just being here tells me that it never even crossed your mind to ask that question. You are a great parent, and you have a child who makes bad choices and won't accept that those choices are HIS responsibility and NOT your responsibility.</p><p></p><p>He wants power over your home but not the responsibility for anything that comes from that power. He is a brat and a toddler in an adult body. </p><p></p><p>I would address ANY conversation about this with the statements that SWOT mentioned in your other post, and I would say as little as possible to him. Give him little to argue with - it takes 2 to argue. Say little, don't argue or debate with him no matter what. tell him what you want him to do or know, then walk away. Don't engage at all. </p><p></p><p>If these are the best your son can come up with, then he is truly lacking in reasoning skills. He had chores and basic rules to follow, parents that loved him and wanted him to be the best that he could be, but he wanted to skate through life and do as little as possible and be a stoner. Gee, poor abused baby. He didn't get a computer in his room, and had to charge his phone at night. What sort of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) monsters are his parents - they made him clean up after himself and didn't do it for him!!! They wanted him to learn basic life skills!! They must be MONSTERS!!</p><p></p><p>Okay, the sarcasm is just going to kill me here. It is just going to knock me over if I keep typing. What a baby your son is, a total whiner if that is ALL he can find to complain about.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 706030, member: 1233"] I would not accept the blame because it is total and utter nonsense. Unless you bought the drugs, prepared them, held them to his face and forced him to ingest them, you did NOT force him to use drugs. He CHOSE to use drugs and is looking for ANY reason to not accept responsibility for his choices. Because if he accepts responsibility, then some consequence might be his fault. In his mind, it is NEVER his fault. If it goes right, it is ONLY to his credit, due to his brilliance. But anything with a negative side? That could NEVER be a result of ANYTHING that he did, so it MUST be a result of something that YOU did! This is child logic and child on drugs logic. It is stupid logic. It is logic that parents must reject because it is simply not reality. It is simply not reality. No change in school, no religion or lack of religion, no chore list or lack of computer time caused this. You didn't cause this by cooking the wrong thing for dinner either. Listen to how ridiculous this sounds. Not letting him have a computer in his bedroom caused him to use drugs. Seriously? That is ALL it takes? So all those parents who let their kids have computers in their rooms have kids who don't use drugs? I don't think so. In fact, I know an awful lot of kids with computers in their rooms who use drugs. It is easier to use drugs if you have a computer in your room, or a phone in your room at night, because you can communicate with people without your parents knowing about it. If what your son says is true, then ALL of your kids would be drug users. They are not. HE is a drug user because he CHOOSES to be one. PERIOD. Unless you woke up in the morning and asked yourself "what can I do today to mess my child up the most that I can?", let yourself off the hook because you are a good parent. Anything you did that messed up your child, you did unintentionally. Now if you asked that question and followed through, things are different. But just being here tells me that it never even crossed your mind to ask that question. You are a great parent, and you have a child who makes bad choices and won't accept that those choices are HIS responsibility and NOT your responsibility. He wants power over your home but not the responsibility for anything that comes from that power. He is a brat and a toddler in an adult body. I would address ANY conversation about this with the statements that SWOT mentioned in your other post, and I would say as little as possible to him. Give him little to argue with - it takes 2 to argue. Say little, don't argue or debate with him no matter what. tell him what you want him to do or know, then walk away. Don't engage at all. If these are the best your son can come up with, then he is truly lacking in reasoning skills. He had chores and basic rules to follow, parents that loved him and wanted him to be the best that he could be, but he wanted to skate through life and do as little as possible and be a stoner. Gee, poor abused baby. He didn't get a computer in his room, and had to charge his phone at night. What sort of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) monsters are his parents - they made him clean up after himself and didn't do it for him!!! They wanted him to learn basic life skills!! They must be MONSTERS!! Okay, the sarcasm is just going to kill me here. It is just going to knock me over if I keep typing. What a baby your son is, a total whiner if that is ALL he can find to complain about. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Does your child blame you for everything?
Top