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Don't know if difficult child will have a birthday dinner
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 325479" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Terry,</p><p></p><p>This is getting scary. He has already hurt you. He is threatening you with violence for not letting him do/have whatever he wants. If you and husband don't find a way to stop this he is going to really hurt you. Not just physically. I am BEGGING you to go to a DV center and ask them to help you find ways to handle this. </p><p></p><p>NOT for you to move out, or kick him out, or press charges. For IDEAS and HELP. Another set of resources is what I have in mind. </p><p></p><p>You also need to seek help for PTSD. As he has already hurt you, his mother, you are on the road to major PTSD. It is not normal for a child to hurt a parent. In our brains this sets up serious stress, even if it never happens or is threatened again. You are smart enough to know he is going to hurt you again if you cannot change SOMETHING></p><p></p><p>Aspie is NO excuse or reason for this. It is all about power and control. In a past post I mentioned hiring a male to be at the house when husband is not there and difficult child is. An aide, if you will. Someone big enough and impressive enough to keep difficult child from hurting you. </p><p></p><p>The next time he threatens you it is time to call the police. Have them give him a talk about how awful it is, what can happen to him if he tries it again, or if he actually hurts you. If he hurts you or tries to (hitting the wall by your head counts, by the way) then you need to press charges.</p><p></p><p>The only way to handle this is with natural consequences. Either a big guy to physically keep him in line, or the police to give legal consequences. There MUST be a way to stop this. I couldn't find one that worked for Wiz, but these are what needs to happen if physical violence is part of the picture.</p><p></p><p>If you don't get the police involved when he hurts you physically you are setting him for a major fall as an adult. If you allow him to hurt you once, he will keep doing it. You didn't call the police teh first time, so there probably will be another time. NOT a "blame" or a "fault", just natural consequences. </p><p></p><p>If he continues to not have legal problems from this, when his just a couple of years older he may hurt someone else and then he could be charged as an adult. MANY states will charge a teen as an adult if they are violent. This is why you have to start NOW to stop the violence.</p><p></p><p>Whatever you do, know that I hope that this can be figured out and handled without more trauma to you and the family.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 325479, member: 1233"] Terry, This is getting scary. He has already hurt you. He is threatening you with violence for not letting him do/have whatever he wants. If you and husband don't find a way to stop this he is going to really hurt you. Not just physically. I am BEGGING you to go to a DV center and ask them to help you find ways to handle this. NOT for you to move out, or kick him out, or press charges. For IDEAS and HELP. Another set of resources is what I have in mind. You also need to seek help for PTSD. As he has already hurt you, his mother, you are on the road to major PTSD. It is not normal for a child to hurt a parent. In our brains this sets up serious stress, even if it never happens or is threatened again. You are smart enough to know he is going to hurt you again if you cannot change SOMETHING> Aspie is NO excuse or reason for this. It is all about power and control. In a past post I mentioned hiring a male to be at the house when husband is not there and difficult child is. An aide, if you will. Someone big enough and impressive enough to keep difficult child from hurting you. The next time he threatens you it is time to call the police. Have them give him a talk about how awful it is, what can happen to him if he tries it again, or if he actually hurts you. If he hurts you or tries to (hitting the wall by your head counts, by the way) then you need to press charges. The only way to handle this is with natural consequences. Either a big guy to physically keep him in line, or the police to give legal consequences. There MUST be a way to stop this. I couldn't find one that worked for Wiz, but these are what needs to happen if physical violence is part of the picture. If you don't get the police involved when he hurts you physically you are setting him for a major fall as an adult. If you allow him to hurt you once, he will keep doing it. You didn't call the police teh first time, so there probably will be another time. NOT a "blame" or a "fault", just natural consequences. If he continues to not have legal problems from this, when his just a couple of years older he may hurt someone else and then he could be charged as an adult. MANY states will charge a teen as an adult if they are violent. This is why you have to start NOW to stop the violence. Whatever you do, know that I hope that this can be figured out and handled without more trauma to you and the family. [/QUOTE]
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