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Don't know if I should be appalled or impressed...
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 502019" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I honestly think that most parenting classes are designed for those parents who haven't even tried to get help. The ones who sit on the couch and say "Johnny don't do that" a dozen times with-o ever getting their patootie up and making Johnny stop. They are for the parents who threaten and threaten and never carry through. Sadly, a LOT of families are stuck at that point. Or they have a kid who says no and the parents just look at each other wondering what to do because the child said no. Those parents shouldn't have puppies, much less kids. </p><p></p><p>For difficult children, those classes are useless. I WILL say that Low Affect parenting, which is a term for showing very little emotional response when a child misbehaves, is really really helpful with some difficult children. It takes YOU out of the chaos and conflama (conflict + drama = conflama, if you hadn't heard that - not my term, Maya Angelou used it on a show a long time ago and I LOVE it.) and then the difficult child/easy child/child doesn't escalate nearly as much. </p><p></p><p>The more I stayed calm, the better things got. When I got all upset or in hsi face, Wiz would ramp up even more. If I didn't respond, it was like he was trying to climb a ladder and the rungs just were not there to support him. </p><p></p><p>I found a LOT more help on that front from Parenting with Love and Logic and also from other L&L books, esp when used with collaborative problem solving and trusting my mommy gut instincts and ignoring/avoiding what went against those instincts. There are a LOT of L&L books, including one for special needs kids. I went to a conference with Dr. Charles Fay, Sr. and spoke with him a bit about special needs kids. These methods WORKED with Wiz, amazingly well actually. Lots of people in real life told me that L&L was great with "normal" kids but kids with Asperger's just couldn't be helped by it. I thought they were just doing it wrong, and still think that. They WORKED with my Aspie. Concerns like that are why they wrote the version for special needs kids, but he was very interested to hear how we used them with Wiz' unique problems/style of thinking. </p><p></p><p>You might check L&L out at <a href="http://www.loveandlogic.com" target="_blank">Love and Logic - Helping Parents and Teachers Raise Responsible Kids</a> . in my opinion it might be a LOT more helpful than the book they gave you - or the "it's all about you" focus of that book. L&L is the first parenting book that seems to be effective with MY difficult child other than The Explosive Child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 502019, member: 1233"] I honestly think that most parenting classes are designed for those parents who haven't even tried to get help. The ones who sit on the couch and say "Johnny don't do that" a dozen times with-o ever getting their patootie up and making Johnny stop. They are for the parents who threaten and threaten and never carry through. Sadly, a LOT of families are stuck at that point. Or they have a kid who says no and the parents just look at each other wondering what to do because the child said no. Those parents shouldn't have puppies, much less kids. For difficult children, those classes are useless. I WILL say that Low Affect parenting, which is a term for showing very little emotional response when a child misbehaves, is really really helpful with some difficult children. It takes YOU out of the chaos and conflama (conflict + drama = conflama, if you hadn't heard that - not my term, Maya Angelou used it on a show a long time ago and I LOVE it.) and then the difficult child/easy child/child doesn't escalate nearly as much. The more I stayed calm, the better things got. When I got all upset or in hsi face, Wiz would ramp up even more. If I didn't respond, it was like he was trying to climb a ladder and the rungs just were not there to support him. I found a LOT more help on that front from Parenting with Love and Logic and also from other L&L books, esp when used with collaborative problem solving and trusting my mommy gut instincts and ignoring/avoiding what went against those instincts. There are a LOT of L&L books, including one for special needs kids. I went to a conference with Dr. Charles Fay, Sr. and spoke with him a bit about special needs kids. These methods WORKED with Wiz, amazingly well actually. Lots of people in real life told me that L&L was great with "normal" kids but kids with Asperger's just couldn't be helped by it. I thought they were just doing it wrong, and still think that. They WORKED with my Aspie. Concerns like that are why they wrote the version for special needs kids, but he was very interested to hear how we used them with Wiz' unique problems/style of thinking. You might check L&L out at [url=http://www.loveandlogic.com]Love and Logic - Helping Parents and Teachers Raise Responsible Kids[/url] . in my opinion it might be a LOT more helpful than the book they gave you - or the "it's all about you" focus of that book. L&L is the first parenting book that seems to be effective with MY difficult child other than The Explosive Child. [/QUOTE]
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