Don't know if I should be proud or angry.

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Nancy, Dec 3, 2012.

  1. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yesterday difficult child brought her car up to the car repair shop to get a wheel alignment for free because we got it aligned over the summer and there is a six month guarantee and it is out of alignment again (she lives on an old brick street which does horrible things to your car). We told her to get her oil changed and we would pay for it and she also discovered a nail in her tire which they repaired. So husband uses his credit card and paid for the repairs.

    On difficult child's facebook yesterday is a post from her friend who apparently went with her. They met a 50-something woman who is homeless and unemployed getting her car fixed. They offered to pay for her repairs but she refused. They commented what a a strong willed, independant and happy woman she was even though she had nothing and how she inspired them.

    So here we were paying for difficult child's repairs and there she was offering to pay for someone elses. I don't know if I should be proud of her or angry. Knowing her she was probably trying to figure out how she could get us to pay for both of them.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I understand the "or angry" but... I'm guessing the needle between "proud or angry" is leaning a bit toward "proud"...
  3. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    I would probably feel both proud that she is generous and thinks of someone else and their troubles and really annoyed that she was probably counting on me to help pay for it!!! I get annoyed when my easy child makes plans assuming that we will just give everyone rides etc..... generally that is true but sometimes i feel taken for granted. And in this case it is more blatent so yeah it would bug me too.

  4. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yes I think annoyed is a better word. I was annoyed that she couldn't pay for her own repairs but comes off looking like such a generous person by offering to pay for someone else's.
  5. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I would be angry. If she had the money to pay for someone else's repairs, then she was conning you out of the money.

    Sorry . . . I am not in a very good difficult child frame of mind at the moment. Nancy, I know that you understand why. I will update the rest of you when I can.

  6. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Count me in on the annoyed, rolling the eyes side.

    Just another out of touch, irresponsible money money moment ... Sigh
  7. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    I would be annoyed, too...she shouldn't have offered anything that she didn't actually have to offer. What if the lady said yes and how grateful she was??
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Or, knowing difficult children, the 50 year old lady may have been a hot 30 year old guy???? There's no telling. Hugs DDD
  9. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Guest


    Sadly, I think annoyed. difficult child would talk about doing 'service' work by driving ppl places in a car I paid for 100%.

    After the Family Program last week, I understand better. They are so short on dopamine that the programs stress feel-good activities, such as mediation and service work, for their brains to fire dopamine.

    They just aren't mature enough yet to discern the differences in their good acts and YOUR good acts. Sigh..
  10. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Agree agree agree with everything said here.