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Dont know what to do anymore.
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 632368" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Welcome, Tired.</p><p></p><p>To the good things others of us have shared, I would add that we do not know, when we become parents, what our journey with our child is going to entail. Addiction is an especially cruel loss, because we've made it through so many of the danger zones of raising children successfully that we literally never see this coming. </p><p></p><p>But it did come. </p><p></p><p>Here on the site, we are learning concrete ways to parent our addicted or otherwise self destructive children without losing our own sanity or self respect. These things that have happened to our kids, and to us, are some of the hardest things that could happen to anyone. There was a discussion here on the site once about whether losing a child could possibly be more painful than watching powerlessly while your child self destructs. One of the moms who had lost a child told us this: While your child is alive, there is hope. </p><p></p><p>I have never forgotten that. </p><p></p><p>My advice to you Tired is to learn all you can about addiction, about codependency and detachment. Learn ways to nurture and cherish yourself. Find outside support through Al Anon, NAMI, or private therapy. If you are married, take special care to protect your relationship to one another. </p><p></p><p>Many of us lose our marriages.</p><p></p><p>If your child continues on this path, if this is going to be the nature of your journey with him, you will need more strength, compassion, and courage than you knew you possessed. Nonetheless, this is your child. This is the nature of the journey you are on together. </p><p></p><p>The healthier you can keep yourself and your primary relationship, the more strength and endurance you will have. </p><p></p><p>There is nothing easy or simple, there is no right or wrong way, to survive loving someone determinedly following a self destructive path. When that person is your own child, the pain of it, the blame and sense of failure, are almost impossible to overcome. </p><p></p><p>I am so sorry this is happening to you, to your child, to your family. </p><p></p><p>Posting here helps so much. </p><p></p><p>I am glad you found us. </p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 632368, member: 17461"] Welcome, Tired. To the good things others of us have shared, I would add that we do not know, when we become parents, what our journey with our child is going to entail. Addiction is an especially cruel loss, because we've made it through so many of the danger zones of raising children successfully that we literally never see this coming. But it did come. Here on the site, we are learning concrete ways to parent our addicted or otherwise self destructive children without losing our own sanity or self respect. These things that have happened to our kids, and to us, are some of the hardest things that could happen to anyone. There was a discussion here on the site once about whether losing a child could possibly be more painful than watching powerlessly while your child self destructs. One of the moms who had lost a child told us this: While your child is alive, there is hope. I have never forgotten that. My advice to you Tired is to learn all you can about addiction, about codependency and detachment. Learn ways to nurture and cherish yourself. Find outside support through Al Anon, NAMI, or private therapy. If you are married, take special care to protect your relationship to one another. Many of us lose our marriages. If your child continues on this path, if this is going to be the nature of your journey with him, you will need more strength, compassion, and courage than you knew you possessed. Nonetheless, this is your child. This is the nature of the journey you are on together. The healthier you can keep yourself and your primary relationship, the more strength and endurance you will have. There is nothing easy or simple, there is no right or wrong way, to survive loving someone determinedly following a self destructive path. When that person is your own child, the pain of it, the blame and sense of failure, are almost impossible to overcome. I am so sorry this is happening to you, to your child, to your family. Posting here helps so much. I am glad you found us. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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