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Don't know which way to go, could use some advice..............
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiredof33" data-source="post: 511971" data-attributes="member: 13558"><p>Recovering I feel your pain as all mothers that care about their children do. We carried them in our bodies they are such a part of us (usually) and no one on this forum wants to hurt you, <em><strong>BUT</strong></em> sweetie, in my opinion she doesn't want to go anywhere but back to your house. She has refused all arrangements because she is trying to wear you down so you will make the one arrangement she wants - living with you. Stay strong and do not ask her, <strong><em>TELL </em></strong>her she has to start helping herself, don't ask, <strong><em>TELL </em></strong>her she is going in for the evaluation. Tell her you want to talk to her parole officer, read the link to her about she is in violation of her parole. Don't let her have the power over you, you are in control of the situation. I know she has been through a lot, but so have you. I don't know about you but I am ready to stop the drama and worry, and if my difficult child wants to continue with drugs and drama he will be doing it without me. I am over the guilt of the mistakes I made that may have caused his problems. </p><p></p><p>The cats are on your property and they do not belong to you. She is not feeding them or taking care of them, so it's not her call, it's yours.</p><p></p><p>She is homeless and in Florida the parolee has to have a permanent address, I know that for a fact, and I don't think it has changed too much in 20 years. My son also had to be enrolled in school and as I remember from the ex's parole he had to have a job.</p><p></p><p>I found this on the Net and it is in CA: <a href="http://www.freeadvice.com/law-questions/can-my-parole-agent-viola-8598.htm" target="_blank">http://www.freeadvice.com/law-questions/can-my-parole-agent-viola-8598.htm</a></p><p></p><p>I know how hard it is, I have no idea where my 33yo is and I know that he has only the clothes on his back, when I last heard from him he had hid a plastic bag of clothes in the woods. <strong><em>THIS IS MY SON!!!!! </em></strong>I can not believe that he has dropped this low, I only pray that this is rock bottom and someone can help him. </p><p></p><p>He hacked into my computer and was conning me for money saying he was homeless when they were out partying all of the time. He quit his job to go to school full time with no means of support. <strong><em>WHAT THE HELL IS HE THINKING? </em></strong>I had to call the police to get girlfriend to stop harrassing me and he calls and leaves a nasty message for me calling the police. girlfriend has threatened all of his friends and his sister, then he calls and cusses them out defending her. And yet with all of that he wonders why none of his friends will have anything to do with him. I do not know if the drugs have damaged his brain or what, but I refuse to rescue him, he doesn't even have a car to live in!</p><p> </p><p>Our minds think the worse! He is alive because he has sent emails asking for money that I ignore. I know the economy is not great but he <em><strong>QUIT</strong></em> his job to go to school full time. For the life of me I just can't figure that one out, but he wants it to be my problem.</p><p></p><p>My situation is different from yours as he makes stupid decision after stupid decision. But they are both our children and they <strong><em>ARE NOT CHILDREN!</em></strong> I refuse to enable and be manipulated any more. Stay strong she only wants to live at your house. Once there she is taken care of and she does not have to take responsibility for herself.</p><p></p><p>I know how bad it hurts, I can honestly say my heart drops when the phone rings. I am afraid, but he has to help himself, and so does your daughter.</p><p></p><p>Yes, it helps me too reading the posts. I hope you have a (((blessed))) day. I'm going to the gym before I start crying, hopefully no one is there and I can read my bible in peace.</p><p></p><p>Please keep us informed big hearted lady!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiredof33, post: 511971, member: 13558"] Recovering I feel your pain as all mothers that care about their children do. We carried them in our bodies they are such a part of us (usually) and no one on this forum wants to hurt you, [I][B]BUT[/B][/I] sweetie, in my opinion she doesn't want to go anywhere but back to your house. She has refused all arrangements because she is trying to wear you down so you will make the one arrangement she wants - living with you. Stay strong and do not ask her, [B][I]TELL [/I][/B]her she has to start helping herself, don't ask, [B][I]TELL [/I][/B]her she is going in for the evaluation. Tell her you want to talk to her parole officer, read the link to her about she is in violation of her parole. Don't let her have the power over you, you are in control of the situation. I know she has been through a lot, but so have you. I don't know about you but I am ready to stop the drama and worry, and if my difficult child wants to continue with drugs and drama he will be doing it without me. I am over the guilt of the mistakes I made that may have caused his problems. The cats are on your property and they do not belong to you. She is not feeding them or taking care of them, so it's not her call, it's yours. She is homeless and in Florida the parolee has to have a permanent address, I know that for a fact, and I don't think it has changed too much in 20 years. My son also had to be enrolled in school and as I remember from the ex's parole he had to have a job. I found this on the Net and it is in CA: [URL]http://www.freeadvice.com/law-questions/can-my-parole-agent-viola-8598.htm[/URL] I know how hard it is, I have no idea where my 33yo is and I know that he has only the clothes on his back, when I last heard from him he had hid a plastic bag of clothes in the woods. [B][I]THIS IS MY SON!!!!! [/I][/B]I can not believe that he has dropped this low, I only pray that this is rock bottom and someone can help him. He hacked into my computer and was conning me for money saying he was homeless when they were out partying all of the time. He quit his job to go to school full time with no means of support. [B][I]WHAT THE HELL IS HE THINKING? [/I][/B]I had to call the police to get girlfriend to stop harrassing me and he calls and leaves a nasty message for me calling the police. girlfriend has threatened all of his friends and his sister, then he calls and cusses them out defending her. And yet with all of that he wonders why none of his friends will have anything to do with him. I do not know if the drugs have damaged his brain or what, but I refuse to rescue him, he doesn't even have a car to live in! Our minds think the worse! He is alive because he has sent emails asking for money that I ignore. I know the economy is not great but he [I][B]QUIT[/B][/I] his job to go to school full time. For the life of me I just can't figure that one out, but he wants it to be my problem. My situation is different from yours as he makes stupid decision after stupid decision. But they are both our children and they [B][I]ARE NOT CHILDREN![/I][/B] I refuse to enable and be manipulated any more. Stay strong she only wants to live at your house. Once there she is taken care of and she does not have to take responsibility for herself. I know how bad it hurts, I can honestly say my heart drops when the phone rings. I am afraid, but he has to help himself, and so does your daughter. Yes, it helps me too reading the posts. I hope you have a (((blessed))) day. I'm going to the gym before I start crying, hopefully no one is there and I can read my bible in peace. Please keep us informed big hearted lady! [/QUOTE]
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