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Parent Emeritus
Don't know which way to go, could use some advice..............
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 512239" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>ra </p><p></p><p>I sat and had a quiet moment for myself yesterday and I think a lot about the people here. Sometimes it takes a few moments uninterupted from my own grind (and trust me right now it's TMJ to the 10th power) to think without hearing stone on stone -lol. </p><p></p><p>SO here are a few things me wee brain came up with - </p><p></p><p>1.) For now - BOARD the cats. Find a local shelter or boarding facility that you can pay weekly that you can also speak to in regards to your daughters mental health and tell them that you do NOT (AT THIS TIME) want to have the cats adopted out, but merely want them to have a better place than the car/driveway - due to the situation. </p><p>2.) Ask a local rescue to FOSTER them FOR you both due to the situation and NOT adopt them out until you can get some things straight - make a monetary donation TO THEIR cause - lump sum. Then tell them at some point you will have her situation worked out and hope to take all the cats back or adopt them out, or make another lump sum donation. Work it out your own way - but the point here is cats are in better enviornment. </p><p></p><p>3.) With regard to your daughter. Tell her you are paying someone for now to look after her BABIES - and that is that if she asks. It is the most humane thing for them. WOULD SHE expect them to live in a car in hot weather or rather they die and her be arrested for animal cruelty? </p><p></p><p>4.) Her situation sounds like it's going to end up being a guardanship deal to me - I believe eventually one of two things will happen - Either a court will find her unfit to care for herself and you will get custody which in a perfect world - Is wonderful, and you manage her SSDI and she gets an apartment, and Foodstamps and you can take care of her until you can't and then name someone your successor, or - She gets custody of her own monies and FS and is constantly in the same boat as now - with added friends who squander her monies (see D3 if you have questions on that one) it's pretty tragic from my point of view. Lots of hard work for what? </p><p></p><p>5.) Lastly but certainly NOT last in my book and probably should have been mentioned first. YOU. Your vacation. SO's vacation ------Ah yes - Vacation.....I would EMPLORE you to REFRAIN from the words DAUGHTER, WHAT AM I going to do about her? and any single reference or THOUGHT regarding her or that situation while on vacation. PRomise us, me, yourself that while on VACATION you truly take full advantage of the entire time away - and LIVE LIFE without uttering her name. Make yourself a verbal, outloud promise to each other that you will not say a single solitary sentence or utterance about her, the cats, nay ANYTHING about it ---at all while on vacation - thoughts you cant help ------but when you think about it - put a rubber band on your wrist and SNAP THE SNOT out of it....then go back to Mai tais......and party city. OR what have you. </p><p></p><p>PLEASE ENJOY THE TIME YOU ARE BEING GIVEN..........FREELY, WHOLEly........and graciously ---------</p><p></p><p>Thats all. I think.....for now. </p><p></p><p>Hugs & Love </p><p>Star</p><p></p><p>4.)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 512239, member: 4964"] ra I sat and had a quiet moment for myself yesterday and I think a lot about the people here. Sometimes it takes a few moments uninterupted from my own grind (and trust me right now it's TMJ to the 10th power) to think without hearing stone on stone -lol. SO here are a few things me wee brain came up with - 1.) For now - BOARD the cats. Find a local shelter or boarding facility that you can pay weekly that you can also speak to in regards to your daughters mental health and tell them that you do NOT (AT THIS TIME) want to have the cats adopted out, but merely want them to have a better place than the car/driveway - due to the situation. 2.) Ask a local rescue to FOSTER them FOR you both due to the situation and NOT adopt them out until you can get some things straight - make a monetary donation TO THEIR cause - lump sum. Then tell them at some point you will have her situation worked out and hope to take all the cats back or adopt them out, or make another lump sum donation. Work it out your own way - but the point here is cats are in better enviornment. 3.) With regard to your daughter. Tell her you are paying someone for now to look after her BABIES - and that is that if she asks. It is the most humane thing for them. WOULD SHE expect them to live in a car in hot weather or rather they die and her be arrested for animal cruelty? 4.) Her situation sounds like it's going to end up being a guardanship deal to me - I believe eventually one of two things will happen - Either a court will find her unfit to care for herself and you will get custody which in a perfect world - Is wonderful, and you manage her SSDI and she gets an apartment, and Foodstamps and you can take care of her until you can't and then name someone your successor, or - She gets custody of her own monies and FS and is constantly in the same boat as now - with added friends who squander her monies (see D3 if you have questions on that one) it's pretty tragic from my point of view. Lots of hard work for what? 5.) Lastly but certainly NOT last in my book and probably should have been mentioned first. YOU. Your vacation. SO's vacation ------Ah yes - Vacation.....I would EMPLORE you to REFRAIN from the words DAUGHTER, WHAT AM I going to do about her? and any single reference or THOUGHT regarding her or that situation while on vacation. PRomise us, me, yourself that while on VACATION you truly take full advantage of the entire time away - and LIVE LIFE without uttering her name. Make yourself a verbal, outloud promise to each other that you will not say a single solitary sentence or utterance about her, the cats, nay ANYTHING about it ---at all while on vacation - thoughts you cant help ------but when you think about it - put a rubber band on your wrist and SNAP THE SNOT out of it....then go back to Mai tais......and party city. OR what have you. PLEASE ENJOY THE TIME YOU ARE BEING GIVEN..........FREELY, WHOLEly........and graciously --------- Thats all. I think.....for now. Hugs & Love Star 4.) [/QUOTE]
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Don't know which way to go, could use some advice..............
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