Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Don't know which way to go, could use some advice..............
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 512769" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>Star, you brought tears to my eyes. Your words really hit home. I used to be quite resentful of "normal" people whining about their "stressful" lives, thinking, "you have no freaking idea what stress is." I'd have imaginary conversations with them in my head (ha) where I spewed my laundry list of problems (what? you're stressed and freaking out because your kid is getting tubes in his ears/fell down and scraped his knee/is sick with a cold and you're missing a day of work? How about visiting two kids who are on different floors of the same psychiatric hospital at the same time (one in adult unit, one in adolescent unit)? How about having your daughter overdose three times and having to leave work for *that* phone call? How about sitting through nine (count em nine) of your other daughter's abdominal surgeries, usually all by your dang self in the waiting room? How about going from your daughter's surgery at one hospital, to your mother's deathbed at the other (alone again, I might add)? And having to worry about losing your job for all the work you're missing and no other income to back you up because you're a single parent?" etc etc). I tend to let it go more than I used to, but this stirred up some memories. Whew <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>RE, I wish I had answers for you. I've struggled with the "but she's mentally ill" thing too, and where the line is between helping and enabling. Mostly, I've pushed away from helping, despite what I sometimes perceive as an "inability" for my Youngest in particular to live her life in a productive manner (complicated by the fact she has kids). She's not totally incapable, she just makes really poor decisions. I've stepped back from many situations where other parents probably would have jumped in, simply because despite whatever mental issues she's dealing with (and not getting treated for), she has to learn how to live without my help, somehow. I won't be here forever. I see small improvements, although some of it is just because she's found someone else to be dependent upon (her latest boyfriend, who I have a feeling will be her fiance any day now). But I couldn't take the stress of it any longer, and I deserve to live my life withOUT that stress. You do, too, and so does your granddaughter. </p><p></p><p>Hugs. ENJOY your vacation. You've earned it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 512769, member: 1157"] Star, you brought tears to my eyes. Your words really hit home. I used to be quite resentful of "normal" people whining about their "stressful" lives, thinking, "you have no freaking idea what stress is." I'd have imaginary conversations with them in my head (ha) where I spewed my laundry list of problems (what? you're stressed and freaking out because your kid is getting tubes in his ears/fell down and scraped his knee/is sick with a cold and you're missing a day of work? How about visiting two kids who are on different floors of the same psychiatric hospital at the same time (one in adult unit, one in adolescent unit)? How about having your daughter overdose three times and having to leave work for *that* phone call? How about sitting through nine (count em nine) of your other daughter's abdominal surgeries, usually all by your dang self in the waiting room? How about going from your daughter's surgery at one hospital, to your mother's deathbed at the other (alone again, I might add)? And having to worry about losing your job for all the work you're missing and no other income to back you up because you're a single parent?" etc etc). I tend to let it go more than I used to, but this stirred up some memories. Whew :) RE, I wish I had answers for you. I've struggled with the "but she's mentally ill" thing too, and where the line is between helping and enabling. Mostly, I've pushed away from helping, despite what I sometimes perceive as an "inability" for my Youngest in particular to live her life in a productive manner (complicated by the fact she has kids). She's not totally incapable, she just makes really poor decisions. I've stepped back from many situations where other parents probably would have jumped in, simply because despite whatever mental issues she's dealing with (and not getting treated for), she has to learn how to live without my help, somehow. I won't be here forever. I see small improvements, although some of it is just because she's found someone else to be dependent upon (her latest boyfriend, who I have a feeling will be her fiance any day now). But I couldn't take the stress of it any longer, and I deserve to live my life withOUT that stress. You do, too, and so does your granddaughter. Hugs. ENJOY your vacation. You've earned it. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Don't know which way to go, could use some advice..............
Top