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I agree with Kris. There's a popular analogy I like to use when someone needs to reach out for themselves. When on a plane with your child the flight attendant always instructs you to place the oxygen over your face first in the event of a loss of cabin pressure. This is because you may pass out and be unable to help your child if you put the mask on him first. The best thing you can do for your family right now is get some crisis counselling then get some interventions in place. There is no shame in this. A good parent strives to keep everyone in the family healthy, even themselves. Go alone if your husband won't join you. Get strong. You can do this, but you have to reach out first.