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don't think i should be here
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 22550" data-attributes="member: 3"><p><span style='font-size: 11pt'>Good Morning kjs. I wanted to say hello and welcome. I have read through several of your posts. You do have your hands full. You have a full blown preadolescent difficult child(that's enough in itself) a husband that you don't feel is a partner and sounds like you are estranged from each other and a school that is screaming for help with your difficult child. All of this is sitting in your lap. You have every reason to feel overwhelmed and depressed. </p><p></p><p>I'm not sure why you feel you shouldn't be here? You have had a multitude of suggestions and a lot of support. I can't imagine a better place to be. We can only make suggestions. It's up to you to read and think about how best to proceed. First, is getting yourself help. You need respite from everyone for 48hrs. Sleep and regroup. Let husband take care of everything for a few days. Go to a sisters or mother or friend and just sleep. </p><p></p><p>2.Decide if husband is going to take the lead for difficult child or you. husband is a parent and has the ability to work with his difficult child just as you have. If difficult child responds better and does better with husband then go for it. It's not about who is the better parent. It's about helping difficult child. Personally, I would relinquish the behavior issues to husband. Disengage from it totally for a month or two. Get yourself recharged. Decide if you are divorcing or not. Don't threaten without follow through. It dilutes your personal strength as an adult. </p><p></p><p>3. Use the school as a tool to help difficult child. Ask for an evaluation. Ask for suggestions, ask for help. Work with them to come up with a plan when difficult child is not cooperating. Losing it in school is no longer an option. It is degrading to difficult child and to you. Lack of sleep and incredible stress explode into that sort of behavior. So avoid both. </p><p></p><p>You see most of us have been through something similar to what you are going through. None of us are here without our own baggage. Different version but difficult child based. We are telling you things that helped us. We can't cure difficult children but we can fix ourselves. Take that first step. Trust us that have been through the he** you describe and found a way to survive. I still want to walk away from difficult child and pretend his issues don't exist but I don't. I learned to take care of myself and do the best I can for me, my family and difficult child. Not just difficult child.So I think you belong here. I hope we can help you work through this chapter in your life. </span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 22550, member: 3"] <span style='font-size: 11pt'>Good Morning kjs. I wanted to say hello and welcome. I have read through several of your posts. You do have your hands full. You have a full blown preadolescent difficult child(that's enough in itself) a husband that you don't feel is a partner and sounds like you are estranged from each other and a school that is screaming for help with your difficult child. All of this is sitting in your lap. You have every reason to feel overwhelmed and depressed. I'm not sure why you feel you shouldn't be here? You have had a multitude of suggestions and a lot of support. I can't imagine a better place to be. We can only make suggestions. It's up to you to read and think about how best to proceed. First, is getting yourself help. You need respite from everyone for 48hrs. Sleep and regroup. Let husband take care of everything for a few days. Go to a sisters or mother or friend and just sleep. 2.Decide if husband is going to take the lead for difficult child or you. husband is a parent and has the ability to work with his difficult child just as you have. If difficult child responds better and does better with husband then go for it. It's not about who is the better parent. It's about helping difficult child. Personally, I would relinquish the behavior issues to husband. Disengage from it totally for a month or two. Get yourself recharged. Decide if you are divorcing or not. Don't threaten without follow through. It dilutes your personal strength as an adult. 3. Use the school as a tool to help difficult child. Ask for an evaluation. Ask for suggestions, ask for help. Work with them to come up with a plan when difficult child is not cooperating. Losing it in school is no longer an option. It is degrading to difficult child and to you. Lack of sleep and incredible stress explode into that sort of behavior. So avoid both. You see most of us have been through something similar to what you are going through. None of us are here without our own baggage. Different version but difficult child based. We are telling you things that helped us. We can't cure difficult children but we can fix ourselves. Take that first step. Trust us that have been through the he** you describe and found a way to survive. I still want to walk away from difficult child and pretend his issues don't exist but I don't. I learned to take care of myself and do the best I can for me, my family and difficult child. Not just difficult child.So I think you belong here. I hope we can help you work through this chapter in your life. </span> [/QUOTE]
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