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Don't Understand abt the Court Stuff
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 302552" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I didn't even bother commenting about the truck - but now I think about it, I find husband's concern about driving an older model truck (hey, it still goes!) to be way out of proportion to his problems overall.</p><p></p><p>If you can't afford it, you shouldn't buy it. Even if you CAN afford it - if you don't need something shinier, why buy it? especially a work vehicle that is designed to get you from A to B and carry your tools.</p><p></p><p>We have two vehicles in our family. One is moderately new - we bought it about seven years ago (yes, husband, it is about that long ago). The other we bought almost-new, 23 years ago. We long ago made a deliberate choice to look after our vehicles, pay for regular servicing, but considered it cheaper overall to keep the old vehicle on the road in healthy condition, than to keep replacing it. We're getting to the point where partds are hard to come by, but it's almost at veteran status now. It's also extremely distinctive in appearance, it's perhaps the best-known vehicle in town where we live. So if husband were at all concerned about his macho image, he wouldn't have agreed to do this. </p><p></p><p>And we're not in the same financial straits as your husband.</p><p></p><p>Beggars can't be choosers. If he has his own vehicle (or a cheaper vehicle) as an option, he should be driving it willingly. His attitude over the vehicle is, frankly, the sam as his attitude over everything else in your relationship - a sense of entitlement, a need to control you and your finances and resentment that he can't, and being really snaky about things when they're not going his way, blaming you for his life not being perfect when frankly, what he has done to your life is way worse.</p><p></p><p>He simply is not in touch but as the situations spiral out of control, he is clutching at straws in his desperation to blame somebody else. THAT is why you are doing the right thing in being there. However, you must look after yourself. Do your utmost to detach, but also THINK (as you have been doing) and make sure you cover as many bases as possible.</p><p></p><p>You can't control what is out of your jurisdiction, so don't beat yourself up over anything you can't prevent. Just plan what you will do in each possible eventuality.</p><p></p><p>WHat happens in a scenario like this, in the event husband is declared an unfit parent? What would happen to stepdaughter then?</p><p></p><p>I really don't know your legal system or how this would work.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there, Look after yourself.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 302552, member: 1991"] I didn't even bother commenting about the truck - but now I think about it, I find husband's concern about driving an older model truck (hey, it still goes!) to be way out of proportion to his problems overall. If you can't afford it, you shouldn't buy it. Even if you CAN afford it - if you don't need something shinier, why buy it? especially a work vehicle that is designed to get you from A to B and carry your tools. We have two vehicles in our family. One is moderately new - we bought it about seven years ago (yes, husband, it is about that long ago). The other we bought almost-new, 23 years ago. We long ago made a deliberate choice to look after our vehicles, pay for regular servicing, but considered it cheaper overall to keep the old vehicle on the road in healthy condition, than to keep replacing it. We're getting to the point where partds are hard to come by, but it's almost at veteran status now. It's also extremely distinctive in appearance, it's perhaps the best-known vehicle in town where we live. So if husband were at all concerned about his macho image, he wouldn't have agreed to do this. And we're not in the same financial straits as your husband. Beggars can't be choosers. If he has his own vehicle (or a cheaper vehicle) as an option, he should be driving it willingly. His attitude over the vehicle is, frankly, the sam as his attitude over everything else in your relationship - a sense of entitlement, a need to control you and your finances and resentment that he can't, and being really snaky about things when they're not going his way, blaming you for his life not being perfect when frankly, what he has done to your life is way worse. He simply is not in touch but as the situations spiral out of control, he is clutching at straws in his desperation to blame somebody else. THAT is why you are doing the right thing in being there. However, you must look after yourself. Do your utmost to detach, but also THINK (as you have been doing) and make sure you cover as many bases as possible. You can't control what is out of your jurisdiction, so don't beat yourself up over anything you can't prevent. Just plan what you will do in each possible eventuality. WHat happens in a scenario like this, in the event husband is declared an unfit parent? What would happen to stepdaughter then? I really don't know your legal system or how this would work. Hang in there, Look after yourself. Marg [/QUOTE]
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