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Don't you get tired of hearing......
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<blockquote data-quote="dreamer" data-source="post: 143338" data-attributes="member: 1697"><p>I now have 3 teenagers- YIKES! LOL. But my kids do not use the excuse, but I do. Teenager time is a hard time for the kids AND the adults/parents. I know I would not want to go back and BE a teen again, no thank you. I watch my kids, and my neices and nephews and my cousins kids and my kids friends and the neighbors, and YUK, I just would NOT want to have to be trying to be a teen in this world, now. </p><p>I am seeing the kids who were such perfect little ones get tangled up between loyalty to peers who they have known since preschool----watch them try to find the balance between independance and responsibility and makeing mistakes, see them struggle to be so on their own, even when they are scared inside and really would much rather cry out "mommy!" but can't becuz they are too embarrassed in front of peers or afraid the adults will use their cry for help against them. </p><p></p><p>There is just SO much for them to be learning, now and so much temptation and so many confuseing issues out in the world....heck it confuses ME sometimes, and I am FAR from teenhood. </p><p></p><p>Even the s e x issues are difficult and confuseing, even for pre teens. Our local police have decided to be VERY proactive and quite aggressive..and I am afraid a couple 10 yr olds I know were actually arrested and booked as sex offenders for playing truth or dare....and then also charged with felony obstruction of justice for one of the kids telling the other "shush don't laugh, or someone will hear and we will get caught" Turns out the police decided that nevermind as toddlers and young children these kids were tumbling together and climbing all over each other, once they are no longer little toddlers, this type of play is no longer acceptable or "innocent" The kids are really haveing difficulty decideing if even simple handholding is a problem? Of course in elementary school they were TOLD to hand holds so as to not get lost on field trips etc and now holding hands is not seen quite the same way, so even if the kids are NOT thinking they are being s e x ual, sometimes it is still percieved that way by others. Yet at the same time, here at our school- they no longer seperate boys and girls for gym class in HS, either....so dureing gym they are together. </p><p></p><p>Now as for driving? YIKES I have difficulty with this. My oldest does not drive. I did not let her, I did not even offer up any set of rules or conditions for her - did not matter to me if she DID meet any "conditions" Truth is she is very anxious, and flips into fight or flight panic very easily. I do not blame her for her fight or flight reaction, and her not even getting to take drivers ed was NOT a punishment and was not presented to her as a punishment. It was simply a statement of fact, just like if she were blind, she would not get MY permission to drive. I do not care one iota if the state said she could drive, I said she couldn't. It is not the state who would have to cope with her and her feelings if something bad happened, it would be my child and me.....so I overruled the states thoughts and simply said no. I was not nasty, not judegemental, this is simply HOW IT IS. Sometimes age is entirely irrelevant. I do remind my kids that just becuz I am over age 21, it does not mean I can go drinking, I can't.....sure my AGE permits me to, but other issues do NOT permit me to. I also remind them that hey, I no longer must abide by curfew, BUT when I worked starting at 4 am, curfew was irrelevant becuz I wanted to keep my job, I liked being paid, and that meant I needed to havemyself at home and in bed in time to be up and on my way to work on time. Nevermind I am more than old enough to not have a curfew. </p><p></p><p>Ah but, yes, I do say to my kids, oh it's becuz you are a teen. LIke when easy child and her boyfriend went out to eat at a nice place, and got crummy service.....they were so upset, but they knew it was becuz the server ASSUMED since they were "teens" they might not leave a good tip, and they might behave abnoxiously. They DID leave a good tip and they HOPE next time they go there, the server will remember they did mind their manners and did leave a good tip.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dreamer, post: 143338, member: 1697"] I now have 3 teenagers- YIKES! LOL. But my kids do not use the excuse, but I do. Teenager time is a hard time for the kids AND the adults/parents. I know I would not want to go back and BE a teen again, no thank you. I watch my kids, and my neices and nephews and my cousins kids and my kids friends and the neighbors, and YUK, I just would NOT want to have to be trying to be a teen in this world, now. I am seeing the kids who were such perfect little ones get tangled up between loyalty to peers who they have known since preschool----watch them try to find the balance between independance and responsibility and makeing mistakes, see them struggle to be so on their own, even when they are scared inside and really would much rather cry out "mommy!" but can't becuz they are too embarrassed in front of peers or afraid the adults will use their cry for help against them. There is just SO much for them to be learning, now and so much temptation and so many confuseing issues out in the world....heck it confuses ME sometimes, and I am FAR from teenhood. Even the s e x issues are difficult and confuseing, even for pre teens. Our local police have decided to be VERY proactive and quite aggressive..and I am afraid a couple 10 yr olds I know were actually arrested and booked as sex offenders for playing truth or dare....and then also charged with felony obstruction of justice for one of the kids telling the other "shush don't laugh, or someone will hear and we will get caught" Turns out the police decided that nevermind as toddlers and young children these kids were tumbling together and climbing all over each other, once they are no longer little toddlers, this type of play is no longer acceptable or "innocent" The kids are really haveing difficulty decideing if even simple handholding is a problem? Of course in elementary school they were TOLD to hand holds so as to not get lost on field trips etc and now holding hands is not seen quite the same way, so even if the kids are NOT thinking they are being s e x ual, sometimes it is still percieved that way by others. Yet at the same time, here at our school- they no longer seperate boys and girls for gym class in HS, either....so dureing gym they are together. Now as for driving? YIKES I have difficulty with this. My oldest does not drive. I did not let her, I did not even offer up any set of rules or conditions for her - did not matter to me if she DID meet any "conditions" Truth is she is very anxious, and flips into fight or flight panic very easily. I do not blame her for her fight or flight reaction, and her not even getting to take drivers ed was NOT a punishment and was not presented to her as a punishment. It was simply a statement of fact, just like if she were blind, she would not get MY permission to drive. I do not care one iota if the state said she could drive, I said she couldn't. It is not the state who would have to cope with her and her feelings if something bad happened, it would be my child and me.....so I overruled the states thoughts and simply said no. I was not nasty, not judegemental, this is simply HOW IT IS. Sometimes age is entirely irrelevant. I do remind my kids that just becuz I am over age 21, it does not mean I can go drinking, I can't.....sure my AGE permits me to, but other issues do NOT permit me to. I also remind them that hey, I no longer must abide by curfew, BUT when I worked starting at 4 am, curfew was irrelevant becuz I wanted to keep my job, I liked being paid, and that meant I needed to havemyself at home and in bed in time to be up and on my way to work on time. Nevermind I am more than old enough to not have a curfew. Ah but, yes, I do say to my kids, oh it's becuz you are a teen. LIke when easy child and her boyfriend went out to eat at a nice place, and got crummy service.....they were so upset, but they knew it was becuz the server ASSUMED since they were "teens" they might not leave a good tip, and they might behave abnoxiously. They DID leave a good tip and they HOPE next time they go there, the server will remember they did mind their manners and did leave a good tip. [/QUOTE]
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