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<blockquote data-quote="Dr. Douglas Riley" data-source="post: 247695" data-attributes="member: 6888"><p>Tiredmommy: Children with mild developmental lags, from my experience, are often explosive because they cannot get their bodies to do what they want to do, whether it is making letters perfectly, drawing the picture they see in their head, throwing a ball where they wanted it to go, or expressing themselves verbally in the manner they intended. Life is frustrating for them. Children like this will often fall into thinking negatively about themselves, and they can be particularly prone to depression. They see others doing what they want to do, compare themselves negatively to those others, and fall into thinking about themselves in a negative way: "I'm dumb!" "No one likes me!" "I can't do anything!" </p><p> </p><p>I tell the kids I work with who think like this that at my house, I call that type of thinking "stinkin' thinkin' " because by the end of the day it is bound to make you feel horrible. I love to point out to these kids that they are always nice to me when they find out about the things that I don't do well, but they beat themselves up about the things that they don't do well. I show them how silly it is to use such double standards.</p><p> </p><p>I do lots of role plays with them. For example, one girl I work with was blowing up because she couldn't write her letters perfectly. I had her pretend that she was the "big kid" part of my brain, and that I was the "blowing up" part of my brain. She had to watch me try to write words and as I threatened to blow up and tear up the paper when I couldn't make them perfect, she had to be the voice of reason. I find that by doing this with children, they often integrate a calmer, more self-accepting voice into their thinking, and begin to get rid of the punitive, self-punishing inner voice that leaves them so frustrated. In my new book I go over this procedure, and refer to it as the "brain game." I have numerous examples of such role plays in the book.</p><p> </p><p>As you might be able to tell, I have a pasion for working with self-concept in young children, as what they believe about themselves right now will determine how they think about themselves in the years to come. Everyone should read the late H. Stephen Glenn's <em>Raising A Competent Child In A Self-Indulgent World</em>. It has such a clear-headed view of how to get kids to believe in themselves. I also like <em>Reviving Ophelia</em>, by Pipher and Ross, as it gets at how girls judge themselves. </p><p> </p><p>As for books for kids who are explosive - you might want to sift through the offerings at addwarehouse.com. They have lots to chose from. </p><p>Sorry to go on about this. Hope it was helpful.</p><p> </p><p>Doug Riley</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Dr. Douglas Riley, post: 247695, member: 6888"] Tiredmommy: Children with mild developmental lags, from my experience, are often explosive because they cannot get their bodies to do what they want to do, whether it is making letters perfectly, drawing the picture they see in their head, throwing a ball where they wanted it to go, or expressing themselves verbally in the manner they intended. Life is frustrating for them. Children like this will often fall into thinking negatively about themselves, and they can be particularly prone to depression. They see others doing what they want to do, compare themselves negatively to those others, and fall into thinking about themselves in a negative way: "I'm dumb!" "No one likes me!" "I can't do anything!" I tell the kids I work with who think like this that at my house, I call that type of thinking "stinkin' thinkin' " because by the end of the day it is bound to make you feel horrible. I love to point out to these kids that they are always nice to me when they find out about the things that I don't do well, but they beat themselves up about the things that they don't do well. I show them how silly it is to use such double standards. I do lots of role plays with them. For example, one girl I work with was blowing up because she couldn't write her letters perfectly. I had her pretend that she was the "big kid" part of my brain, and that I was the "blowing up" part of my brain. She had to watch me try to write words and as I threatened to blow up and tear up the paper when I couldn't make them perfect, she had to be the voice of reason. I find that by doing this with children, they often integrate a calmer, more self-accepting voice into their thinking, and begin to get rid of the punitive, self-punishing inner voice that leaves them so frustrated. In my new book I go over this procedure, and refer to it as the "brain game." I have numerous examples of such role plays in the book. As you might be able to tell, I have a pasion for working with self-concept in young children, as what they believe about themselves right now will determine how they think about themselves in the years to come. Everyone should read the late H. Stephen Glenn's [I]Raising A Competent Child In A Self-Indulgent World[/I]. It has such a clear-headed view of how to get kids to believe in themselves. I also like [I]Reviving Ophelia[/I], by Pipher and Ross, as it gets at how girls judge themselves. As for books for kids who are explosive - you might want to sift through the offerings at addwarehouse.com. They have lots to chose from. Sorry to go on about this. Hope it was helpful. Doug Riley [/QUOTE]
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