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<blockquote data-quote="Dr. Douglas Riley" data-source="post: 248867" data-attributes="member: 6888"><p>WSM: When I began to read your post, my initial thought was "Oh my God." However, the very best news is that, as complex as your son is, he is only 12. It is easy to bring up the idea of personality disorders when talking about the symptom set you describe, particularly if we are talking about someone who is 18 and up. However, he still has lots of growing and development to do. My strongest suggestions are that you force him into group-based activities in which he will have to interact with others and take their feedback, with the overall goal being for him to become aware of the impact he has on others. When I use the word "force," I use it with with clear intent. He is likely to fight you hammer and tong, will insist that everyone in the group is stupid or hates him, and will find every way to quit. Don't allow this. Ideally, one of the groups would be a sport, like soccer, where he will have to put up with the bumping and the banging so that he can learn to be one of the guys, so to speak. You should also consider school clubs, scouting, church youth groups, or community service organizations. Kids like this, unless you keep them engaged in groups, become hit and run specialists - they engage briefly, insult you, and disappear, thinking that they have created a victory for themselves over others whom they assume to be hostile toward them. </p><p> </p><p>You have lots of hard work in front of you, but you still have time.</p><p> </p><p>Ant'smom: Yes, I remember. What a moving, elegant story you told. Hope all is well with you.</p><p> </p><p>Doug Riley</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Dr. Douglas Riley, post: 248867, member: 6888"] WSM: When I began to read your post, my initial thought was "Oh my God." However, the very best news is that, as complex as your son is, he is only 12. It is easy to bring up the idea of personality disorders when talking about the symptom set you describe, particularly if we are talking about someone who is 18 and up. However, he still has lots of growing and development to do. My strongest suggestions are that you force him into group-based activities in which he will have to interact with others and take their feedback, with the overall goal being for him to become aware of the impact he has on others. When I use the word "force," I use it with with clear intent. He is likely to fight you hammer and tong, will insist that everyone in the group is stupid or hates him, and will find every way to quit. Don't allow this. Ideally, one of the groups would be a sport, like soccer, where he will have to put up with the bumping and the banging so that he can learn to be one of the guys, so to speak. You should also consider school clubs, scouting, church youth groups, or community service organizations. Kids like this, unless you keep them engaged in groups, become hit and run specialists - they engage briefly, insult you, and disappear, thinking that they have created a victory for themselves over others whom they assume to be hostile toward them. You have lots of hard work in front of you, but you still have time. Ant'smom: Yes, I remember. What a moving, elegant story you told. Hope all is well with you. Doug Riley [/QUOTE]
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