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Drama in a small town......and difficult child 1's caught in it
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 538167" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>This kind of situations are always really difficult to judge. I'm glad I'm not working for CPS.</p><p></p><p>I do believe that these things happen more than we think. There are lots of people out there, who are attention seekers or who want to show off. And kids can be very convenient way to do so. Most are harmless, they dress their kids really nicely and make a blog out of it or they brag to other parents on the playground how specially talented their kid is. Or tell everyone and their friend, how hard it is, when their kid has ear infections. I think most parents do something like that at times in small scale. With some the scale is bigger and it can get very annoying. I think I annoyed heck out of many people when my easy child was a baby and I found the Holy Grail of childrearing and having a happy and perfect baby (attachment parenting and all the other tree-hugging things.) Turned out I just happened to have happy and easy second baby after high-strung first born, but I did believe it was all me at that time.</p><p></p><p>Then there are those, who push their kids too much to be able to show off. Some sport and music parents, those who <strong><em>really</em></strong> (I mean, of course we all would like it, but...) want straight A student etc. But some kids are not able to perform to that level and parent has to find the other way to show off. And to be honest, being a warrior mother can give you that chance. When my difficult child was younger I was a member of local message board for parents of difficult children and over the years there were few posters that started to give out vibes that for them, being a warrior mom was much more about them being a warrior mom than about their kids. I hope it was just something they did on that message board, to get attention and encouragement there and that it didn't have much to do with how they really handled their kids, but of course i have no way to know that. And I could be wrong all together, I can't know that either. But i do believe, that it is something that happens also in in real life and probably more than we could think.</p><p></p><p>You certainly tend to get attention and drama into your life, when you have a difficult child child. Most of us would happily go without that attention, but there are many difficult child moms and dads out there, who love that kind of drama and attention. And to be honest, it is easy to stir up with claiming your child is a difficult child. Many diagnoses are heavily based on what parent tell about their kids. In these kind of forums we tend to use many ego stroking phrases like how mommy gut knows the best or how awesome warrior parents we are. Those things are of course not always true, we don't always know the best and we are perfectly capable of screwing up but we do need that kind of encouragement at times anyway. But for some, those things may be quite unhealthy hubris. If it stays on message boards, no harm done, I guess, but I'm afraid that there are always some to whom it translates their actual lives and can get out of hand.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 538167, member: 14557"] This kind of situations are always really difficult to judge. I'm glad I'm not working for CPS. I do believe that these things happen more than we think. There are lots of people out there, who are attention seekers or who want to show off. And kids can be very convenient way to do so. Most are harmless, they dress their kids really nicely and make a blog out of it or they brag to other parents on the playground how specially talented their kid is. Or tell everyone and their friend, how hard it is, when their kid has ear infections. I think most parents do something like that at times in small scale. With some the scale is bigger and it can get very annoying. I think I annoyed heck out of many people when my easy child was a baby and I found the Holy Grail of childrearing and having a happy and perfect baby (attachment parenting and all the other tree-hugging things.) Turned out I just happened to have happy and easy second baby after high-strung first born, but I did believe it was all me at that time. Then there are those, who push their kids too much to be able to show off. Some sport and music parents, those who [B][I]really[/I][/B] (I mean, of course we all would like it, but...) want straight A student etc. But some kids are not able to perform to that level and parent has to find the other way to show off. And to be honest, being a warrior mother can give you that chance. When my difficult child was younger I was a member of local message board for parents of difficult children and over the years there were few posters that started to give out vibes that for them, being a warrior mom was much more about them being a warrior mom than about their kids. I hope it was just something they did on that message board, to get attention and encouragement there and that it didn't have much to do with how they really handled their kids, but of course i have no way to know that. And I could be wrong all together, I can't know that either. But i do believe, that it is something that happens also in in real life and probably more than we could think. You certainly tend to get attention and drama into your life, when you have a difficult child child. Most of us would happily go without that attention, but there are many difficult child moms and dads out there, who love that kind of drama and attention. And to be honest, it is easy to stir up with claiming your child is a difficult child. Many diagnoses are heavily based on what parent tell about their kids. In these kind of forums we tend to use many ego stroking phrases like how mommy gut knows the best or how awesome warrior parents we are. Those things are of course not always true, we don't always know the best and we are perfectly capable of screwing up but we do need that kind of encouragement at times anyway. But for some, those things may be quite unhealthy hubris. If it stays on message boards, no harm done, I guess, but I'm afraid that there are always some to whom it translates their actual lives and can get out of hand. [/QUOTE]
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