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Parent Emeritus
Drawing boundaries and not being ruled by sadness and guilt
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<blockquote data-quote="JMom" data-source="post: 754047" data-attributes="member: 19892"><p>Kris22,</p><p></p><p>Welcome, I'm glad you're here. Holidays really pull on our heart strings! It's cold, its supposed to be special and family oriented, but unfortunately for all of us, it can be cruel. </p><p></p><p>My son, who was 20 and addicted chose homelessness over sobriety and chose it on Christmas eve 2016. It was really tough. What helped me the most was coming here, posting my story and receiving love, acceptance and kindness. </p><p></p><p>For the first year, I included him in the holiday dinners but it turned out terribly. The second year, I started untangling and gave myself a gift. I just called him and said that I needed to take care of myself. I told him that I needed a week or two to myself, without contact, and that I would reach out after New Years. </p><p></p><p>He respected my wishes and I delivered his gifts to his camp new years day. It was really tough, but it allowed me to breathe. </p><p></p><p>I hope your holiday went well. How did it turn out? It is possible to detach with love. I just had an open conversation with my Difficult Child and told him I loved him more than anything but needed to focus on my health. It was the first step in self care. My prayer for you is to have a guilt free holiday and enjoy your children, albeit separately. </p><p>Jmom</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JMom, post: 754047, member: 19892"] Kris22, Welcome, I'm glad you're here. Holidays really pull on our heart strings! It's cold, its supposed to be special and family oriented, but unfortunately for all of us, it can be cruel. My son, who was 20 and addicted chose homelessness over sobriety and chose it on Christmas eve 2016. It was really tough. What helped me the most was coming here, posting my story and receiving love, acceptance and kindness. For the first year, I included him in the holiday dinners but it turned out terribly. The second year, I started untangling and gave myself a gift. I just called him and said that I needed to take care of myself. I told him that I needed a week or two to myself, without contact, and that I would reach out after New Years. He respected my wishes and I delivered his gifts to his camp new years day. It was really tough, but it allowed me to breathe. I hope your holiday went well. How did it turn out? It is possible to detach with love. I just had an open conversation with my Difficult Child and told him I loved him more than anything but needed to focus on my health. It was the first step in self care. My prayer for you is to have a guilt free holiday and enjoy your children, albeit separately. Jmom [/QUOTE]
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Drawing boundaries and not being ruled by sadness and guilt
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