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<blockquote data-quote="Zardo" data-source="post: 496988" data-attributes="member: 12490"><p>I have been in this situation with my now 16 year old son. Same scenario - expulsion and everything. What I can tell you is that there is no use in talking to him right now. He cannot hear anything you say through the drugs. My guess is that the issue lies more in substance abuse and getting caught up in the counter culture of drugs (either with peers or on-line) than a psychiatric issue, not that there may not be one as well. No doctor or talking will help until you can clear his head of drugs. So - how can you do that? There are a few ways. We did Wilderness rehab for 3 months, very expensive but worth every penny. We took his college money, but the way things were going, that was not going to be in the picture anyway. Wilderness does not fix everything, but it does temporarily stop the drug use and begin a very intense therapeutic process and introspection. It made a huge difference for our son. It didn't totally stop the drugs, but it was a big start. He has slipped a few times after that, but each time reralized he needs more support. he has since attended AA and two outpatient programs. His relapses have been isolated "slips" as opposed to on-going use for a period of time. He does not have to agree to go to Wilderness, there are services that come in the middle of the night to take them and there are programs for the "unwilling" participant. If that is not an option, call your local police department. Let them know what is going on. In my town you can appeal for "CHINS" or child in need of services, they will assign a parole officer who will begin working with him and you, drug testing him and getting him involved in the juvenielle justice system. Yes, scary, but he continues to struggle with drugs or other behavior, they will court order treatment. Right now it is easy for him to blame you for just being an A(@^&($* trying to get in the way of his fun. By getting a parole officer, he will see that this problem is much larger that just your house. It will get the focus off you as the enemy. If he is more willing than I assume, find a local treatment center with an intensive outpatient program. My son just finished a 6 week program, 3 days per week, 3 hours per day. In that program, he met kids who have been in jail, who have used herion and who will have to literally spend years putting their lives back together. He was greatly moved by these kids. Maybe your local place will even offer "intervention" services at your home if he is unwilling. Our program was coverred by insurance as are most outpatient progams. So - a lot of information here, but my main message is this - you have to VERY aggressively act to get the drugs out of him before you can make any progress with him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Zardo, post: 496988, member: 12490"] I have been in this situation with my now 16 year old son. Same scenario - expulsion and everything. What I can tell you is that there is no use in talking to him right now. He cannot hear anything you say through the drugs. My guess is that the issue lies more in substance abuse and getting caught up in the counter culture of drugs (either with peers or on-line) than a psychiatric issue, not that there may not be one as well. No doctor or talking will help until you can clear his head of drugs. So - how can you do that? There are a few ways. We did Wilderness rehab for 3 months, very expensive but worth every penny. We took his college money, but the way things were going, that was not going to be in the picture anyway. Wilderness does not fix everything, but it does temporarily stop the drug use and begin a very intense therapeutic process and introspection. It made a huge difference for our son. It didn't totally stop the drugs, but it was a big start. He has slipped a few times after that, but each time reralized he needs more support. he has since attended AA and two outpatient programs. His relapses have been isolated "slips" as opposed to on-going use for a period of time. He does not have to agree to go to Wilderness, there are services that come in the middle of the night to take them and there are programs for the "unwilling" participant. If that is not an option, call your local police department. Let them know what is going on. In my town you can appeal for "CHINS" or child in need of services, they will assign a parole officer who will begin working with him and you, drug testing him and getting him involved in the juvenielle justice system. Yes, scary, but he continues to struggle with drugs or other behavior, they will court order treatment. Right now it is easy for him to blame you for just being an A(@^&($* trying to get in the way of his fun. By getting a parole officer, he will see that this problem is much larger that just your house. It will get the focus off you as the enemy. If he is more willing than I assume, find a local treatment center with an intensive outpatient program. My son just finished a 6 week program, 3 days per week, 3 hours per day. In that program, he met kids who have been in jail, who have used herion and who will have to literally spend years putting their lives back together. He was greatly moved by these kids. Maybe your local place will even offer "intervention" services at your home if he is unwilling. Our program was coverred by insurance as are most outpatient progams. So - a lot of information here, but my main message is this - you have to VERY aggressively act to get the drugs out of him before you can make any progress with him. [/QUOTE]
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