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DS totally and suddenly silent
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 755721" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I just read JayPees's post above which is very wise. I for one have a very hard time NOT acting from intense feelings. I have a better chance if I avoid the intense feelings from the get go. I do that by setting up circumstances in my life, so as to avoid train wrecks.</p><p></p><p>I know what I am writing is way different than what I wrote yesterday. Today, I am putting myself in your shoes. I am like you. </p><p></p><p>But the thing is, what has shifted for me is that I am having no contact at all with my son. He moved out. And he's not calling nor am I calling him, except for one slip up by me. He neither answered or returned the call.</p><p></p><p><em>I am way better off this way. </em>Somehow I have found a place in my heart that can let go of the minute to minute, day by day panic about what could be happening, or will happen. I am feeling like I'm better off not knowing, letting him handle himself and his life. I don't have to make this about me. His life is his.</p><p></p><p>Right now because I'm writing this, I am in touch again with the fear and pain. I don't like it. I guess I have developed the capacity to have emotional distance. At least for now. I don't know how that happened. But I like it better.</p><p></p><p>Beta. These sons of ours are grown men. There are resources in society that they can turn to. Josh, actually, seems to be doing a reasonable job staying out of trouble and landing on his feet. </p><p></p><p>There is a glass half full here. Maybe that's the key to avoid the dominos falling down that arrives in desperation and lack of control. Maybe the key is practicing optimism, or equanimity or acceptance. And letting it go.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 755721, member: 18958"] I just read JayPees's post above which is very wise. I for one have a very hard time NOT acting from intense feelings. I have a better chance if I avoid the intense feelings from the get go. I do that by setting up circumstances in my life, so as to avoid train wrecks. I know what I am writing is way different than what I wrote yesterday. Today, I am putting myself in your shoes. I am like you. But the thing is, what has shifted for me is that I am having no contact at all with my son. He moved out. And he's not calling nor am I calling him, except for one slip up by me. He neither answered or returned the call. [I]I am way better off this way. [/I]Somehow I have found a place in my heart that can let go of the minute to minute, day by day panic about what could be happening, or will happen. I am feeling like I'm better off not knowing, letting him handle himself and his life. I don't have to make this about me. His life is his. Right now because I'm writing this, I am in touch again with the fear and pain. I don't like it. I guess I have developed the capacity to have emotional distance. At least for now. I don't know how that happened. But I like it better. Beta. These sons of ours are grown men. There are resources in society that they can turn to. Josh, actually, seems to be doing a reasonable job staying out of trouble and landing on his feet. There is a glass half full here. Maybe that's the key to avoid the dominos falling down that arrives in desperation and lack of control. Maybe the key is practicing optimism, or equanimity or acceptance. And letting it go. [/QUOTE]
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