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Early teen stuff: boys/gifts/oral sex!!!???
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 225799" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I pretty much come right out with it with Jess. She has a very tight group of female friends, same ones from 1st grade and they all have their heads on pretty straight. One girl (not of this "group" but wanting to be) came with a whole bunch of those rubber bracelets and was bragging that each different color and bracelet was a sex act and or boy who wanted to do it with her.</p><p></p><p>this was FOURTH GRADE! and they were ALL appalled. Girl is still an outsider to the group, mostly because this kind of behavior.</p><p></p><p>The girls still talk pretty openly in front of us, and they are 13-14. We all have explained that if it involved touching areas covered by swimsuits - it is sex. Period. </p><p></p><p>May not be intercourse, but it is SOME FORM of sex. And just like there are different forms of swimsuits, there are different forms of sex. If some part of your body or another person's (male or female) touches for the purpose of sexual pleasure for 1 or both of you, then it is sex. </p><p></p><p>So far the girls seem pretty comfortable with it all. We do talk about Pres Clinton and Monica Lewinsky - and how some people, including a president, said that whatever they did wasn't sex, but in reality, it was. </p><p></p><p>We have spoken indiv with our girls about the various "Rainbow Parties" (we are in a college town and there are all sorts of them) and how dumb and degrading they are. Seriously, imagine you are a guy and you have to measure your worth by opening your pants to see how many colors of lipstick you are wearing htere? Can you imagine anything dumber than a bunch of guys with their pants partly down walking around counting lipstick colors while trying not to actually LOOK at each other's privates because that would be "gay" in the "guy world"?</p><p></p><p>It cracked Jess up, in addition to giving her a really embarrassing, stupid visual - and the idea that anyone who wants HER to do that is really stupid and embarrassing.</p><p></p><p>It mostly has to be done in small bits - some here, some there, some another time. If you are in the car it is an AWESOME time because she can't get away, LOL and if it is night and dark and she is in the backseat she can ask questions and not be embarrassed.</p><p></p><p>I have had the sad Sunday morning of getting ready to go somewhere and seeing some of the college girls stumbling home from fraternity row. I am not at all saying all fraternities are bad, or that all sororities are bad. BUT they CAN as a group have some not good things.</p><p></p><p>One is an ugly ritual where they look out the windows to see which girls are stumbling home on Sun am because whatever guy they "hooked up with" didn't care enough to see them home. We actually saw about 15 girls in a drive through the campus area - all CLEARLY coming home after drinking and probably casual sex. </p><p></p><p>Jessie thought that the torn clothing on some of the girls should be classified as assault. I agree, but the girls won't say anything because it seems to be some horrid ritual between sororities and fraternities. The girls who are treated the worst are not with any sorority, so there are no rules about how they can or can't be treated. </p><p></p><p>I wasn't out looking for this, it was just the quickest way from point A to point B. I would have waited had I thought about it. IF anything, it has actually gotten WORSE from when I was in college and from when husband was in college.</p><p></p><p>MWM, if anything at all, think soundbites. Phrases that are memorable and easy to repeat.</p><p></p><p>Like "Don't get AIDS." I can't get the words of a girl on (of all shows) the Tyra Banks show who thought she was with the love of her life, only to learn he KNEW he had AIDS. She was told not to get pregnant. She didn't. She was told not to drink and drive. She didn't. No one ever told her not to get AIDS. And she did." I can see the young lady, hear her voice in my head, and I made jess watch the show to open up discussion.</p><p></p><p>Lots of TV shows can open the topic. It doesn't matter where, or when, just how you respond.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 225799, member: 1233"] I pretty much come right out with it with Jess. She has a very tight group of female friends, same ones from 1st grade and they all have their heads on pretty straight. One girl (not of this "group" but wanting to be) came with a whole bunch of those rubber bracelets and was bragging that each different color and bracelet was a sex act and or boy who wanted to do it with her. this was FOURTH GRADE! and they were ALL appalled. Girl is still an outsider to the group, mostly because this kind of behavior. The girls still talk pretty openly in front of us, and they are 13-14. We all have explained that if it involved touching areas covered by swimsuits - it is sex. Period. May not be intercourse, but it is SOME FORM of sex. And just like there are different forms of swimsuits, there are different forms of sex. If some part of your body or another person's (male or female) touches for the purpose of sexual pleasure for 1 or both of you, then it is sex. So far the girls seem pretty comfortable with it all. We do talk about Pres Clinton and Monica Lewinsky - and how some people, including a president, said that whatever they did wasn't sex, but in reality, it was. We have spoken indiv with our girls about the various "Rainbow Parties" (we are in a college town and there are all sorts of them) and how dumb and degrading they are. Seriously, imagine you are a guy and you have to measure your worth by opening your pants to see how many colors of lipstick you are wearing htere? Can you imagine anything dumber than a bunch of guys with their pants partly down walking around counting lipstick colors while trying not to actually LOOK at each other's privates because that would be "gay" in the "guy world"? It cracked Jess up, in addition to giving her a really embarrassing, stupid visual - and the idea that anyone who wants HER to do that is really stupid and embarrassing. It mostly has to be done in small bits - some here, some there, some another time. If you are in the car it is an AWESOME time because she can't get away, LOL and if it is night and dark and she is in the backseat she can ask questions and not be embarrassed. I have had the sad Sunday morning of getting ready to go somewhere and seeing some of the college girls stumbling home from fraternity row. I am not at all saying all fraternities are bad, or that all sororities are bad. BUT they CAN as a group have some not good things. One is an ugly ritual where they look out the windows to see which girls are stumbling home on Sun am because whatever guy they "hooked up with" didn't care enough to see them home. We actually saw about 15 girls in a drive through the campus area - all CLEARLY coming home after drinking and probably casual sex. Jessie thought that the torn clothing on some of the girls should be classified as assault. I agree, but the girls won't say anything because it seems to be some horrid ritual between sororities and fraternities. The girls who are treated the worst are not with any sorority, so there are no rules about how they can or can't be treated. I wasn't out looking for this, it was just the quickest way from point A to point B. I would have waited had I thought about it. IF anything, it has actually gotten WORSE from when I was in college and from when husband was in college. MWM, if anything at all, think soundbites. Phrases that are memorable and easy to repeat. Like "Don't get AIDS." I can't get the words of a girl on (of all shows) the Tyra Banks show who thought she was with the love of her life, only to learn he KNEW he had AIDS. She was told not to get pregnant. She didn't. She was told not to drink and drive. She didn't. No one ever told her not to get AIDS. And she did." I can see the young lady, hear her voice in my head, and I made jess watch the show to open up discussion. Lots of TV shows can open the topic. It doesn't matter where, or when, just how you respond. [/QUOTE]
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