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easy child acting like difficult child this weekend
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 49383" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>Once again there is no ONE answer because all of our PCs are different. Alot depends on personality, peers, patterns, etc.</p><p>I've had alot of easy child experience as a parent and with my PCs I</p><p>usually used a different tactic. Why it worked I'm not sure but</p><p>most of the time it did.</p><p></p><p>I never "confronted" one of my teens. I always unexpectedly</p><p>brought up the subject at the dinner table or while watching tv</p><p>etc. Then I would usually start the subject by mildly saying</p><p>"easy child is there anything you would like to share with me?" On more</p><p>than one occasion I was shocked out of my chair..lol..as I was</p><p>told about stuff I didn't have a clue about! Most of the time,</p><p>however, there was a brief look of panic followed by a question</p><p>for me. "What do you mean, Mom?" LOL! </p><p></p><p>For instance (in your trip case) I would say "Much to my shock and surprise someone indicated that you may have been somewhere</p><p>other than at XXX's house? Is that possible?"</p><p></p><p>With all the PCs the truth, or a close to the truth story, would</p><p>flow including an apology etc. From that point I would add that</p><p>as a parent I deserve to hear the truth from my children. Then</p><p>I often would ask "what do you think is the appropriate punishment?" Once again...many times there version was harsher</p><p>than what I had in mind.</p><p></p><p>Confrontation doesn't work with me. I see it as backing someone</p><p>into a corner where they have to either fight or submit. I did</p><p>not want submission or retaliatory fighting. I wanted them to</p><p>recognize that I was the parent and deserved respect.</p><p></p><p>Perhaps a version of this method might work with your easy child. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 49383, member: 35"] Once again there is no ONE answer because all of our PCs are different. Alot depends on personality, peers, patterns, etc. I've had alot of easy child experience as a parent and with my PCs I usually used a different tactic. Why it worked I'm not sure but most of the time it did. I never "confronted" one of my teens. I always unexpectedly brought up the subject at the dinner table or while watching tv etc. Then I would usually start the subject by mildly saying "easy child is there anything you would like to share with me?" On more than one occasion I was shocked out of my chair..lol..as I was told about stuff I didn't have a clue about! Most of the time, however, there was a brief look of panic followed by a question for me. "What do you mean, Mom?" LOL! For instance (in your trip case) I would say "Much to my shock and surprise someone indicated that you may have been somewhere other than at XXX's house? Is that possible?" With all the PCs the truth, or a close to the truth story, would flow including an apology etc. From that point I would add that as a parent I deserve to hear the truth from my children. Then I often would ask "what do you think is the appropriate punishment?" Once again...many times there version was harsher than what I had in mind. Confrontation doesn't work with me. I see it as backing someone into a corner where they have to either fight or submit. I did not want submission or retaliatory fighting. I wanted them to recognize that I was the parent and deserved respect. Perhaps a version of this method might work with your easy child. DDD [/QUOTE]
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