O.k., I know I can't handle this the way I would a difficult child because they are wired so different, but my easy child has done a few things this past week, so unlike her, and I'm trying to decide the best way to handle it. Few days ago husband and I were going out and easy child asked if she could have a few friends over and we said o.k., just a few, and not even really thinking I needed to say it, I gave the lecture on no alchohol, think about what you are doing, yada yada yada. She looked at me like I had two heads, like why would you even have to say that to me, I would never even think of it!! We were home early, it was a school and work night, and friends were already gone. The next day I go to the shed to get some pool stuff out and behind the house I find a few empty plastic cups that definitley had beer in them. I confronted her and she didn't deny it, said one of the girls brought a few beers over, but she didn't drink, just they did. I laid into her about the underage drinking laws and how her father and I could be arrested if these parents found out these girls were drinking in our house!!!! I also told her I didn't believe that she wasn't drinking, I'm not stupid, I don't believe she sat there and watched, and let her know how upset I was and that I don't like the feeling of not being able to trust her, told her no more friends over when we aren't home and grounded her for a few days. I thought of calling the parents of these other girls, but knowing the laws, I am afraid to bring attention to something that could backfire on us as the way the underage drinking laws go, it doesn't matter if we were home, or didn't know they were drinking, we would still be held responsible. So they won't be allowed here anymore, and I won't have to worry about that again, but I hate this not trusting her. O.k., so last night she gets her car back and is going out with her girlfriend's and sleeping at one of their houses. These are her best friends, so I was o.k. with it, she sleeps there a lot, and I told her to think about what she is doing there and to call me from the girls home number when they are in for the night. I called her cell phone around 9:00 and she text messaged me back saying they just got into a movie and she would call me from Chelseas as soon as they got home after the movie. She called me around 11:45 from her house and said they were going to bed. This morning I see a message on her myspace from her girlfriend, left yesterday, saying can't wait for the concert tonight. Then I see she went on mapquest and printed out the directions to drive to it herself. She had asked me a few weeks ago if I would let her go to a concert there and I told her only if another parent was driving, because she wasn't, and she said o.k. She is not the greatest driver and this place is over an hour away on highways that she has never driven. Well now I know she was at a concert and not the movies and that she drove there!!! I'll have to discuss this with husband, but I'm thinking right now the consequences should be to ground her for atleast the week and only allow her to drive to school and work period, then I will have to treat her like a baby for a while and make sure I call the parents of wherever she says she's going and make sure she is going where she says she is. I haven't trusted difficult child for years, so it was nothing I had to get used too. I do not like feeling this way about her. I know, I know, these are probably typical normal teenage behaviors. I guess I'm so used to dealing with over the top difficult child behaviors that I'm not quite sure how to deal with normal teenage behaviors. When I was 17 I drank, smoked pot, went many places I wasn't supposed to. I wasn't a difficult child and I experimented grew out of it all. I have no fear of her becoming a difficult child, but I just want to handle this correctly and get the point across, because I know I don't have to beat her over the head to make her understand what she did was wrong. What would you guys do? First of all I can't let her know that I saw this on myspace, so I'm going to tell her it's a small world and somebody told me they saw her at the concert. Where she went it not very big and most of the seating is outside on the lawn, and I do know someone who was going and taking his 2 daughters last night. I have been to this place before and it would be very easy to run into people you know there. She should be home soon and husband is working all day, so I think I will go with the consequence I mentioned for now and let her know I will talk to her father when he gets home and we will take it from there.