Frustrated…..

[ANewLife4Me]

My husbands newest co-worker used to work for the jail in a different county than where we live now. She told my husband that she knows our daughter and had tried to talk to her, said not many redheads and why she remembers who she is. She then told my husband that a place called CASA would take her in once she gets out and keep her until she has a job and vehicle. Oh joy, right?!?! I called CASA and the woman knew of my husband as they worked on a few cases together but said they only deal with domestic violence. She said she wished we had resources here in our county but there are none. And if she is violent no one will take her in as protection for staff and patients. She suggested that once out of jail she baker act herself to get the help she needs. The hospital we have here will keep them a minimum of 3 days, more if required but are eventually released. Then what? Where does she go? The CASA worker agreed with me and said she wished she could have had an answer for me.

Calling 211 had the same results, nothing in our area. I see homeless people everywhere here, I just don’t know how they do it.

The CASA worker listened and yet another person affirmed we are doing the right thing by letting her go and not jump in to the rescue. I know a million times over it’s what we ARE going to do. She told me I sounded very strong on this. I say yes I am until she is right in front of me then I melt like a pile of snow.

WHY are there not adequate resources for people with severe mental illness! That is of course if they want to take any help to lead a better life…most won’t. It’s sad and depressing!

 

[ANewLife4Me]

Oh my goodness, I am in shock! My husbands co-worker and I just had a long chat of what she was like while in her jail. My daughter has led me to believe, which I never did, that nothing is her fault. She tells me that my daughter behaved herself for the most part, she tried to get her to do dishes one day and she flipped out on her and another inmate. She was disrespectful to all that she came into contact with. She took it upon herself to go into the barbers shop and cut all her hair off, it was very long at the time. She was told she could not do that, needed a pass in order to get a haircut. Of course that did not matter to my daughter as she does what she wants. Many times she found my daughter talking to herself when there was no one else around and that she was messaging someone constantly, she had no idea who it was. Interesting…. All along this journey I thought we were the only ones. We were when she had no one else to go to, we were the very last on her list. Wow…that really hurts and makes me furious with her right now! I feel so used, feet swept on like a door mat…if I had only known. My son told me these very same words about we are her last option and I refused to see the truth for what it was.

The more I find out, the less feelings I have for her. It’s a hard thing to even think of, not loving your child but…..who is this child really?

 

[newstart]

I read your posts with understanding and love since I feel I have walked in your shoes. So many emotions and so many emotions pulling you in a million directions. One thing that took me a long time to realize is that my daughter knows better and can do better. So many of these mentally ill people surely know what they are doing. I felt like I was being kept hostage and tormented by my daughter. The intense emotions with just having a daughter get in the way. In my case, my daughter was a good child until she developed on set adult bipolar. I lost my precious little girl when bipolar took her over. It was like a death.. From a straight A student to one that did not give a F about anything not even herself. To watch this kind of destruction was harming me to the core. From parents and teachers telling me what a wonderful child I had to parents and teachers telling me what a demon she was. Painful is an understatement. I know your love for your daughter is there strong or else you would not be on this forum trying to makes sense of something that simply does not make sense. I just pray your daughter can straighten herself out and soon so you can have much deserved rest. And the type of rest that you can get when you know your child is doing better. When my daughter acts awful and I have to pull away, I do pull away but my heart is not restful. I think it is part of being a parent. When I tried to get my daughter the right mental health I could not find anything. I made finding her help my full time job. It would be easier for others to help you if you fill out your profile with your childs age and any other information you want to share so others that have more experience that are further down the line can help you more. This group has been God sent to me and hope you get as much good out of it as I did. Love you all.

 

[ANewLife4Me]

Thank you newstart you pulled the exact feelings from my heart. Was so profound what you just said… even with pulling away my heart will not be at rest. You get so very much what I am saying, that even though mentally ill know exactly what they are doing, right from wrong. And that she knows she can do better in fact she has so many times, it’s why I know that she is not incapable at all. I also spent my entire days trying to find her help, have dwindled it down to a here and there type of help now. I feel the need to find her any other place to stay than coming to my home once she is out. Just cannot shake the fear. I thank you with all my heart for caring and sending you love right back! Praying for your daughter as well that hopefully one day they get it and be who we know they can.