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easy child/difficult child tensions
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<blockquote data-quote="maril" data-source="post: 242939" data-attributes="member: 5937"><p>It sounds to me as though you and husband are trying to be fair and keep balance in your nest but, alas, sibling relationships can be difficult, I suppose. I honestly don't know if I could do as well as you! </p><p> </p><p>My own experience growing up - I am number three of four kids, including two older brothers and one younger brother, the youngest having physical and learning problems for which mom had to give extra time and attention (definitely understable); but then, there was the ever-present sib rivalry and competition. Always had a sort of love/hate thing going at home, but in our own weird way, we were a "decent" family. As adults, we get along fairly well; it has taken quite some time as well as learning to communicate in order for us to come to terms with some occurrences and rivalries that occurred as youngsters. Fortunately, all of our lives are going relatively well (very thankful for that) and I realize time can help heal wounds. </p><p> </p><p>My experience as a mom - of course, as my signature reveals, I have only two kids. They are almost six years apart, so each has had their her/his "only child" time, if you will; daughter's only-child time being before son was born and son's being in the past just about 5 years since daughter went away to college. Certainly, that makes a difference in dealing with the sibling rivalry! The 13 years they lived together was never too incredibly difficult. </p><p> </p><p>Back when difficult child was born, daughter was thrilled when she learned she had a baby brother but soon realized this little man was going to demand extra attention and energy from mom and dad! Over the years, she has tried to be loving and understanding but does get disgusted and impatient with her brother. Up until recently, she was not really on the same page as us with difficult children diagnosis and how to deal with his challenges. </p><p> </p><p>Over time, in realizing that I was giving difficult child more attention than daughter, I changed my ways and gave more of myself to daughter, especially after she graduated from high school, got through that "can't stand mom" period, and we could communicate. By then, she was interested in and willing to have me help her out if she needed it with some of her new adult responsibilities. </p><p> </p><p>It has definitely been an interesting ride, but I will always be thankful that I was blessed with having children. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="maril, post: 242939, member: 5937"] It sounds to me as though you and husband are trying to be fair and keep balance in your nest but, alas, sibling relationships can be difficult, I suppose. I honestly don't know if I could do as well as you! My own experience growing up - I am number three of four kids, including two older brothers and one younger brother, the youngest having physical and learning problems for which mom had to give extra time and attention (definitely understable); but then, there was the ever-present sib rivalry and competition. Always had a sort of love/hate thing going at home, but in our own weird way, we were a "decent" family. As adults, we get along fairly well; it has taken quite some time as well as learning to communicate in order for us to come to terms with some occurrences and rivalries that occurred as youngsters. Fortunately, all of our lives are going relatively well (very thankful for that) and I realize time can help heal wounds. My experience as a mom - of course, as my signature reveals, I have only two kids. They are almost six years apart, so each has had their her/his "only child" time, if you will; daughter's only-child time being before son was born and son's being in the past just about 5 years since daughter went away to college. Certainly, that makes a difference in dealing with the sibling rivalry! The 13 years they lived together was never too incredibly difficult. Back when difficult child was born, daughter was thrilled when she learned she had a baby brother but soon realized this little man was going to demand extra attention and energy from mom and dad! Over the years, she has tried to be loving and understanding but does get disgusted and impatient with her brother. Up until recently, she was not really on the same page as us with difficult children diagnosis and how to deal with his challenges. Over time, in realizing that I was giving difficult child more attention than daughter, I changed my ways and gave more of myself to daughter, especially after she graduated from high school, got through that "can't stand mom" period, and we could communicate. By then, she was interested in and willing to have me help her out if she needed it with some of her new adult responsibilities. It has definitely been an interesting ride, but I will always be thankful that I was blessed with having children. :happy: [/QUOTE]
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