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easy child/difficult child tensions
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 243103" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Katya</p><p> </p><p>I think maturity plays a huge role in how easy child/difficult children get along as adults. At least for us that seem to be one of the biggest factors. </p><p> </p><p>easy child used to resent the time it took me to parent 2 difficult children. Travis used to drive her straight up a wall when she lived at home. There were times when she was close to strangling him. (with good reason) Once she moved out the tension eased. Plus she was gaining a more adult/mature outlook on life as a whole and it carried over to the difficult children as well. </p><p> </p><p>Nichole has been my biggest hurdle. As young children she and Travis were inseperable. At about age 10/11 she surpassed her bother.....and it's been a constant clash between them every since. And there were many times those clashes were vicious, most especially on Nichole's part.</p><p> </p><p>I'd honestly given up on Nichole ever learning to accept and get along with her brother on a civil level.</p><p> </p><p>But once again I'm seeing maturity making a difference. It's no where near perfect yet.....But the fact that Nichole will pick her brother up from work is HUGE. That they can have a "normal" conversation blows my mind. </p><p> </p><p>And I suspect once Nichole is out on her own and doesn't have her brother to contend with 24/7 this will improve even more.</p><p> </p><p>Have the other kids ever attended al anon meetings? Might be a good idea if they haven't. I think right now they may be resentful of difficult child because they think he's pulling the wool over your eyes and going to use again. So it's probably going to take quite a bit of time for difficult child to "prove" himself to them. Kids aren't as forgiving of each other as parents are of kids.</p><p> </p><p>Not so long ago I wouldn't have believed my kids could all get along as adults. But they can and do more often than not.</p><p> </p><p>((hugs))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 243103, member: 84"] Katya I think maturity plays a huge role in how easy child/difficult children get along as adults. At least for us that seem to be one of the biggest factors. easy child used to resent the time it took me to parent 2 difficult children. Travis used to drive her straight up a wall when she lived at home. There were times when she was close to strangling him. (with good reason) Once she moved out the tension eased. Plus she was gaining a more adult/mature outlook on life as a whole and it carried over to the difficult children as well. Nichole has been my biggest hurdle. As young children she and Travis were inseperable. At about age 10/11 she surpassed her bother.....and it's been a constant clash between them every since. And there were many times those clashes were vicious, most especially on Nichole's part. I'd honestly given up on Nichole ever learning to accept and get along with her brother on a civil level. But once again I'm seeing maturity making a difference. It's no where near perfect yet.....But the fact that Nichole will pick her brother up from work is HUGE. That they can have a "normal" conversation blows my mind. And I suspect once Nichole is out on her own and doesn't have her brother to contend with 24/7 this will improve even more. Have the other kids ever attended al anon meetings? Might be a good idea if they haven't. I think right now they may be resentful of difficult child because they think he's pulling the wool over your eyes and going to use again. So it's probably going to take quite a bit of time for difficult child to "prove" himself to them. Kids aren't as forgiving of each other as parents are of kids. Not so long ago I wouldn't have believed my kids could all get along as adults. But they can and do more often than not. ((hugs)) [/QUOTE]
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