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easy child wants to come home
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 433819" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="color: darkslateblue">Coming in a bit late to this discussion, I've read every post and your outcome. I'm happy to see that you're thinking with a clear head, allowed easy child to have her say and tell you her plan and then state your priorities...and then follow through. That is GREAT for YOU. When my difficult child moved out for a few weeks just before her 18th b'day, I think it was a total of 8 weeks, (6 with her dad on LI), I missed her terribly. Just as H and I were adjusting to a home with less daily stress, fighting, late night screaming matches and harsh words between H and difficult child, she called crying to come home. I told her I'd think about it...waiting another couple of weeks. We finally did allow her to come home and I can tell you, it was great for a couple of weeks, then the honeymoon ended and it was even worse than before. The Great Manipulator snaked her way back into our home only to drive us to the brink of ruin. She FINALLY, after quite a few blow ups, dumped Monkeyboy (the most horrible worst boyfriend ever) and almost over night, her life began to get on track...nothing is perfect, but I can honestly say that moving out and into an apt with her current old man E, we are much better. I have the patience to listen to her fantastic tales, I can empathize with her, but not be manipluated by her, we can meet for lunch, coffee, a movie and enjoy ourselves together, she kisses H and me hello and goodbye, tells us she loves us, and her boyfriend is a sweetheart to us. Do I wish she went to college and earned a degree in something stable that can support herself? Yes. Do I wish she'd take better care of her health? Yes. But she doesn't drink or drug anymore and she's actually pleasant to be around. I have told her that if things go sour with E she can always come home, but my fingers are crossed that it never happens. It's better with her being out and on her own, even if she does live above E's parents in their home, really that's okay. lol.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: darkslateblue">I just want to say that I personally do not think there is an age limit on how long our kids can live at home. If they contribute and help around the home, respect the rules and support themselves, I don't have a problem with my adult daughter living at home. easy child lives with us, she pays us rent, she helps with chores, respects our curfew and schedules and is pleasant most of the time (she's a moody Scorpio). Would it be nice for her to move out? Sure, but she's working full time and going to school full time, she can't afford her own place. I have never believed in pushing the kids out at 18. If they're unruly, yes, but otherwise, what's the rush? Just my .02.</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 433819, member: 2211"] [COLOR=darkslateblue]Coming in a bit late to this discussion, I've read every post and your outcome. I'm happy to see that you're thinking with a clear head, allowed easy child to have her say and tell you her plan and then state your priorities...and then follow through. That is GREAT for YOU. When my difficult child moved out for a few weeks just before her 18th b'day, I think it was a total of 8 weeks, (6 with her dad on LI), I missed her terribly. Just as H and I were adjusting to a home with less daily stress, fighting, late night screaming matches and harsh words between H and difficult child, she called crying to come home. I told her I'd think about it...waiting another couple of weeks. We finally did allow her to come home and I can tell you, it was great for a couple of weeks, then the honeymoon ended and it was even worse than before. The Great Manipulator snaked her way back into our home only to drive us to the brink of ruin. She FINALLY, after quite a few blow ups, dumped Monkeyboy (the most horrible worst boyfriend ever) and almost over night, her life began to get on track...nothing is perfect, but I can honestly say that moving out and into an apt with her current old man E, we are much better. I have the patience to listen to her fantastic tales, I can empathize with her, but not be manipluated by her, we can meet for lunch, coffee, a movie and enjoy ourselves together, she kisses H and me hello and goodbye, tells us she loves us, and her boyfriend is a sweetheart to us. Do I wish she went to college and earned a degree in something stable that can support herself? Yes. Do I wish she'd take better care of her health? Yes. But she doesn't drink or drug anymore and she's actually pleasant to be around. I have told her that if things go sour with E she can always come home, but my fingers are crossed that it never happens. It's better with her being out and on her own, even if she does live above E's parents in their home, really that's okay. lol.[/COLOR] [COLOR=darkslateblue]I just want to say that I personally do not think there is an age limit on how long our kids can live at home. If they contribute and help around the home, respect the rules and support themselves, I don't have a problem with my adult daughter living at home. easy child lives with us, she pays us rent, she helps with chores, respects our curfew and schedules and is pleasant most of the time (she's a moody Scorpio). Would it be nice for her to move out? Sure, but she's working full time and going to school full time, she can't afford her own place. I have never believed in pushing the kids out at 18. If they're unruly, yes, but otherwise, what's the rush? Just my .02.[/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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