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easy child went to grandma's
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 283546" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>PJ,</p><p></p><p>You are a very wise woman. I know you don't feel that way now, that you feel lost and desperate and, if you are like me, like a fool for not seeing the abuse easy child got/gets from difficult child.</p><p></p><p>I am sending you SuperSpecialBTDT Hugs. These are not your ordinary everyday hugs. These are hugs that wrap you in comfort and that safe feeling you get when someone you love and who loves you wraps you in their arms and lets you have permission to not handle things for a few minutes.</p><p></p><p>Why do I think you are wise? First because you can see what is going on in your home for what it is and you are fighting to find ways to help your kids.</p><p></p><p>Also because the yes/no on the paper for your little easy child to point to. And for realizing what questions to ask and for KNOWING he needed a break. sending him out of the strike zone is a good idea.</p><p></p><p>I think you should go to a domestic violence shelter or 3 to see if they can help you. Maybe just with free counselling and support or maybe with more. I know the DV here was an amazing source of comfort and support for me after I insisted Wiz leave our home (not our family or our hearts, just our home).</p><p></p><p>You need to take easy child to the pediatrician to start the ball rolling to get some help for HIM set up. Contacting child protective services (cps or whatever they call it where you are) is an important step. You or the pediatrician will HAVE to report this. It IS child abuse, even when the abuser is also a child. It will look better coming from you, or at least from the pediatrician that you ASK to call. Our pediatrician was very supportive. She made SURE that cps knew that I notified her and had already taken steps to have jessie and thank you in therapy and already had Wiz in the psychiatric hospital for long term.</p><p></p><p>Write out a safety plan - what you and the kids will do if he rages, hurts, abuses whatever. I actually got an alarm for Jessie to wear around her neck for the few days until we got Wiz in the psychiatric hospital. I also got a door alarm that screeched if anyone opened the door to either of their rooms. And we let Jess sleep with us so she could actually feel safe.</p><p></p><p>However things go, CPS must be alerted. if you don't, then eventually someone at school will. That could cause you to lose the other children (not difficult child, they don't want to remove him because it would be hard to find a place for him. they threaten to take your other kids because you didn't keep them safe. It isn't the right thing, because you can only protect them from things you know about.) and face legal and/or criminal charges.</p><p></p><p>The kids and you all need to see therapists. You may or may not want to look into medications for anxiety and depression for all or some of you. In the thick of things medications really helped Jessie. Not to mention me!</p><p></p><p>Stick to the instincts that led you to question easy child the way you did. Make sure he can talk to a therapist. And get him to the doctor and report the abuse to cps.</p><p></p><p>It is so hard to do. But you are not doing it alone. We are here with you in spirit. We are sending you strength to follow through with what you know needs to be done. </p><p></p><p>Susie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 283546, member: 1233"] PJ, You are a very wise woman. I know you don't feel that way now, that you feel lost and desperate and, if you are like me, like a fool for not seeing the abuse easy child got/gets from difficult child. I am sending you SuperSpecialBTDT Hugs. These are not your ordinary everyday hugs. These are hugs that wrap you in comfort and that safe feeling you get when someone you love and who loves you wraps you in their arms and lets you have permission to not handle things for a few minutes. Why do I think you are wise? First because you can see what is going on in your home for what it is and you are fighting to find ways to help your kids. Also because the yes/no on the paper for your little easy child to point to. And for realizing what questions to ask and for KNOWING he needed a break. sending him out of the strike zone is a good idea. I think you should go to a domestic violence shelter or 3 to see if they can help you. Maybe just with free counselling and support or maybe with more. I know the DV here was an amazing source of comfort and support for me after I insisted Wiz leave our home (not our family or our hearts, just our home). You need to take easy child to the pediatrician to start the ball rolling to get some help for HIM set up. Contacting child protective services (cps or whatever they call it where you are) is an important step. You or the pediatrician will HAVE to report this. It IS child abuse, even when the abuser is also a child. It will look better coming from you, or at least from the pediatrician that you ASK to call. Our pediatrician was very supportive. She made SURE that cps knew that I notified her and had already taken steps to have jessie and thank you in therapy and already had Wiz in the psychiatric hospital for long term. Write out a safety plan - what you and the kids will do if he rages, hurts, abuses whatever. I actually got an alarm for Jessie to wear around her neck for the few days until we got Wiz in the psychiatric hospital. I also got a door alarm that screeched if anyone opened the door to either of their rooms. And we let Jess sleep with us so she could actually feel safe. However things go, CPS must be alerted. if you don't, then eventually someone at school will. That could cause you to lose the other children (not difficult child, they don't want to remove him because it would be hard to find a place for him. they threaten to take your other kids because you didn't keep them safe. It isn't the right thing, because you can only protect them from things you know about.) and face legal and/or criminal charges. The kids and you all need to see therapists. You may or may not want to look into medications for anxiety and depression for all or some of you. In the thick of things medications really helped Jessie. Not to mention me! Stick to the instincts that led you to question easy child the way you did. Make sure he can talk to a therapist. And get him to the doctor and report the abuse to cps. It is so hard to do. But you are not doing it alone. We are here with you in spirit. We are sending you strength to follow through with what you know needs to be done. Susie [/QUOTE]
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