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easy child's dad about to put the last nail in the coffin
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<blockquote data-quote="donna723" data-source="post: 90988" data-attributes="member: 1883"><p>I'm another one who has been there done that. My son went through exactly the same thing. When he was a teenager, it broke my heart to see him go through alternately being hurt, disappointed, and angry at the way his father treated him, and it got even worse when we separated and then divorced. In our case, we also have a daughter who is five years older than our son. The ex was and STILL IS so partial to our daughter, I've actually run in to people who didn't even realize that we HAD a son in addition to the daughter he bragged about constantly! My son never discussed it much with me - and I tried. But I found out later that he did discuss it with a lot of his friends, and I was surprised at how open he was with others about his bad feelings about his dad. </p><p></p><p>Your son will probably do the same as mine did. He is 27 now and it took a long time and a lot of maturing and growing to the point where he could look at it from an adults point of view instead of like a hurt, angry kid. And he has finally reached a point where he knows that it wasn't HIS fault. He knows that his father has "issues" (to say the least!) and that it was not through any fault or shortcoming of his own. His father lives 800 miles away and he hasn't seen him in over three years. When he does, he is civil and respectful, but that's it! His father is simply not a part of his life. He is "indifferent" to his father now. "Hurt" or "angry" implies that you care, that it matters, and it doesn't anymore. "Indifference" is much worse. I doubt if he even thinks about his father very often. He could care less. </p><p></p><p>To say that it's his fathers' loss, is putting it mildly, and he doesn't even realize that he's lost his son! But that's what happens. And some day he will be old and needy and expect his son to be there for him, and he won't be. "We reap what we sow".</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="donna723, post: 90988, member: 1883"] I'm another one who has been there done that. My son went through exactly the same thing. When he was a teenager, it broke my heart to see him go through alternately being hurt, disappointed, and angry at the way his father treated him, and it got even worse when we separated and then divorced. In our case, we also have a daughter who is five years older than our son. The ex was and STILL IS so partial to our daughter, I've actually run in to people who didn't even realize that we HAD a son in addition to the daughter he bragged about constantly! My son never discussed it much with me - and I tried. But I found out later that he did discuss it with a lot of his friends, and I was surprised at how open he was with others about his bad feelings about his dad. Your son will probably do the same as mine did. He is 27 now and it took a long time and a lot of maturing and growing to the point where he could look at it from an adults point of view instead of like a hurt, angry kid. And he has finally reached a point where he knows that it wasn't HIS fault. He knows that his father has "issues" (to say the least!) and that it was not through any fault or shortcoming of his own. His father lives 800 miles away and he hasn't seen him in over three years. When he does, he is civil and respectful, but that's it! His father is simply not a part of his life. He is "indifferent" to his father now. "Hurt" or "angry" implies that you care, that it matters, and it doesn't anymore. "Indifference" is much worse. I doubt if he even thinks about his father very often. He could care less. To say that it's his fathers' loss, is putting it mildly, and he doesn't even realize that he's lost his son! But that's what happens. And some day he will be old and needy and expect his son to be there for him, and he won't be. "We reap what we sow". [/QUOTE]
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easy child's dad about to put the last nail in the coffin
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