Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
easy child's wedding....feeling left out
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 420994" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>We met with difficult child 1's bride's family to discuss costs, who would do what, etc. daughter in law's mother is VERY controlling, in fact insisted on being MC (which was a disaster). However, we were involved because we sat down and discussed it. It helped that the wedding was held at our church, catering by our church, so I had to liaise with the church there. </p><p></p><p>Otherwise - if everything is under control, there probably isn't a lot for you to do. Traditionally the groom's family pays for the drinks and the flowers. That gives you a toe in the door - contact the kids and say, "I feel I should be doing more for you guys. I know the groom's family are supposed to be covering the drinks and the flowers - can we talk about this? I want to talk with you about your plans and see if there's anything I can do to help."</p><p></p><p>Invite them to dinner. Maybe invite the bride's parents too. Relax, Have fun. Listen to the plans. Enjoy them as much as you can but realise - it's generally the bride's day, and after her comes the groom, and mother of the bride, roughly equal. Mother of the groom comes lower down the rung.</p><p></p><p>When easy child married, she and SIL1 organised the whole thing themselves. There was very little for us to do, even less for the groom's mother. A good thing - she is a lovely person but physically incapable of doing more than turning up for a couple of hours. While she was there, they made a fuss of her because they knew she was not well enough to stay the whole course. But a lot of what went on - we were not involved. My best friend was MC (did a brilliant job so easy child 2/difficult child 2 asked her to MC at her wedding too).</p><p></p><p>With easy child 2/difficult child 2's wedding, we did our best to involve the groom's family but had to work hard at it. We had a food tasting meal, they needed a minimum of 8 people so we invited the groom's parents to it. That way they felt involved in the food choices. They could not afford to pay their part of the reception, husband & I covered the bulk of it to save the arguments. We chose to back away from forcing the issue - after initially wanting a dry wedding the kids and bridal party wanted alcohol and the groom's parents did not, so they refused to pay for the drinks at all. We had organised the drinks to keep the brakes on but the bridal party were exempt and one groomsman in particular got a bit too drunk.</p><p></p><p>I get on OK with all my "outlaws" but sometimes i feel it can be hard work. However, for the sake of my kids, I will do it.</p><p></p><p>Why not call the bride's mother and ask to meet with her? You don't want to change anything, just be kept in the loop in case there is something you could do to make things a bit easier. besides, it is fun to be as much part of it as is acceptable. it is an exciting time, and you want to share the excitement.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 420994, member: 1991"] We met with difficult child 1's bride's family to discuss costs, who would do what, etc. daughter in law's mother is VERY controlling, in fact insisted on being MC (which was a disaster). However, we were involved because we sat down and discussed it. It helped that the wedding was held at our church, catering by our church, so I had to liaise with the church there. Otherwise - if everything is under control, there probably isn't a lot for you to do. Traditionally the groom's family pays for the drinks and the flowers. That gives you a toe in the door - contact the kids and say, "I feel I should be doing more for you guys. I know the groom's family are supposed to be covering the drinks and the flowers - can we talk about this? I want to talk with you about your plans and see if there's anything I can do to help." Invite them to dinner. Maybe invite the bride's parents too. Relax, Have fun. Listen to the plans. Enjoy them as much as you can but realise - it's generally the bride's day, and after her comes the groom, and mother of the bride, roughly equal. Mother of the groom comes lower down the rung. When easy child married, she and SIL1 organised the whole thing themselves. There was very little for us to do, even less for the groom's mother. A good thing - she is a lovely person but physically incapable of doing more than turning up for a couple of hours. While she was there, they made a fuss of her because they knew she was not well enough to stay the whole course. But a lot of what went on - we were not involved. My best friend was MC (did a brilliant job so easy child 2/difficult child 2 asked her to MC at her wedding too). With easy child 2/difficult child 2's wedding, we did our best to involve the groom's family but had to work hard at it. We had a food tasting meal, they needed a minimum of 8 people so we invited the groom's parents to it. That way they felt involved in the food choices. They could not afford to pay their part of the reception, husband & I covered the bulk of it to save the arguments. We chose to back away from forcing the issue - after initially wanting a dry wedding the kids and bridal party wanted alcohol and the groom's parents did not, so they refused to pay for the drinks at all. We had organised the drinks to keep the brakes on but the bridal party were exempt and one groomsman in particular got a bit too drunk. I get on OK with all my "outlaws" but sometimes i feel it can be hard work. However, for the sake of my kids, I will do it. Why not call the bride's mother and ask to meet with her? You don't want to change anything, just be kept in the loop in case there is something you could do to make things a bit easier. besides, it is fun to be as much part of it as is acceptable. it is an exciting time, and you want to share the excitement. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
easy child's wedding....feeling left out
Top