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General Parenting
Effort to speak positively and keep soft music on
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 390184" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>These are two very good things. You can also try to take it one step further and work on some preventative things. Look at how you approach him with the instructions to begin with. Both my kids were so sensitive about me making a simple comment like, "The bus is coming, get your coat on". They felt like they were being yelled at. They couldn't take a simple observation/suggestion. I had to change my approach. I tried to think about them as guests in the house. You wouldn't tell your guests to get on their coat so I had to do things like, "I see the bus is coming. Were you able to find your coat?" Approaching EVERYTHING in a overly positive attitude will help. </p><p> </p><p>Marg is correct that at first it does seem like you are a servant bending over and being abused. As mom's, everthing is so personal to us so it is hard to keep emotions in tap when our plans are not running smoothly and timely but practice does make things easier. Just keep your eye on the goal and stay calm.</p><p> </p><p>My difficult child was 11 when we started having issues big time with his anxiety. I did work with him alot on what type of person he wanted to be. Sort of like what your friend was doing - "You CAN do this. You CAN make the decision and follow through." difficult child has a very strong faith and he did turn to Jesus to help him through things - WWJD (What would Jesus Do?). Instead of telling him to do the right thing, I was more apt to ask him what he thought the right thing would be and tell him that he had the strength to do it if he really wanted to. Sometimes I think we should have shorter days - maybe making it through them would be easier? Maybe EVERYONE would be able to go to sleep before the length of the day and the battle for cooperation and quietness overcame us?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 390184, member: 5096"] These are two very good things. You can also try to take it one step further and work on some preventative things. Look at how you approach him with the instructions to begin with. Both my kids were so sensitive about me making a simple comment like, "The bus is coming, get your coat on". They felt like they were being yelled at. They couldn't take a simple observation/suggestion. I had to change my approach. I tried to think about them as guests in the house. You wouldn't tell your guests to get on their coat so I had to do things like, "I see the bus is coming. Were you able to find your coat?" Approaching EVERYTHING in a overly positive attitude will help. Marg is correct that at first it does seem like you are a servant bending over and being abused. As mom's, everthing is so personal to us so it is hard to keep emotions in tap when our plans are not running smoothly and timely but practice does make things easier. Just keep your eye on the goal and stay calm. My difficult child was 11 when we started having issues big time with his anxiety. I did work with him alot on what type of person he wanted to be. Sort of like what your friend was doing - "You CAN do this. You CAN make the decision and follow through." difficult child has a very strong faith and he did turn to Jesus to help him through things - WWJD (What would Jesus Do?). Instead of telling him to do the right thing, I was more apt to ask him what he thought the right thing would be and tell him that he had the strength to do it if he really wanted to. Sometimes I think we should have shorter days - maybe making it through them would be easier? Maybe EVERYONE would be able to go to sleep before the length of the day and the battle for cooperation and quietness overcame us? [/QUOTE]
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