Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
emotional affairs
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="dreamer" data-source="post: 22394" data-attributes="member: 1697"><p>I am sorry you have this issue threatening your relationship. </p><p>I know for me I tell my kids all the time if they have a dating type relationship, they cannot dictate who their partner sees or talks to etc cuz you do not own another person. I personally also do not let my kids think a partner can be "stolen" away short of aggressive physical "kidnapping" </p><p>But I know and understand thats just my personal belief system. I know not everyone else shares that perspective. </p><p>Something that it seems to me that might have changed in the years since I married is that--------- wel- homosexuality is more out in the open, now. Becuz of that sometimes I wondr if that means we have to be hyperalert to same sex relationships, too?</p><p>Maybe you offered your boyfriend a choice, but it may be a choice he does not want or does not agree with and maybe he feels like youbacked him into a corner (I think someone already said this, sorry) </p><p>Due to extreme abuses in past relationships, I was very slow to trust. Once I did take the gamble to trust my now husband, I do not know how I would react or respond if I felt the trust being threatened. - altho I guess for me it will never be an issue anymore since he has not left the house in years and years. </p><p>I will say I do meet old friends, even a man I was once engaged to for coffee......he is married and so am I and we pore over pics of our kids and funny little tales of our lives. BUT I never ever even try to hide that I see him, have taken my kids with, he gave my easy child an 18 wheel truck driving lesson once........</p><p>If my husband ever told me I could NOT see that person, we might have a very serious problem. If my husband told me I had to make a choice, we would have a very serious problem. </p><p>My husband and my family had a terrible history and we were estranged from my family partly cuz of that- but when my mom was ill, I did not lie, I did not ask, BUT I did go to my mom. I left my husband home and fully expected him to step up to the plate without him feeling like I "chose" mom over him- mostly becuz I am who I am, I do what I have to do, and I love and like who I love and like. He was not happy with my absence, and he was not happy left on his own with our children, but he knew me, he knew I was doing what I had to be doing to be true to who I am and he also knew that was a part of me that drew him to me.........so whether he liked it or not, he had to honor it and respect it. </p><p>I take care of people. BUT no, I will not lie about it and no, it is not up for discussion. My husband who I adore and love to no end can accept me doing what I need to do or he can pout. Or if he wants to throw away our 23 years, well.......if thats what he wants to do, but I have to be who I am. and he knew that before we married.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dreamer, post: 22394, member: 1697"] I am sorry you have this issue threatening your relationship. I know for me I tell my kids all the time if they have a dating type relationship, they cannot dictate who their partner sees or talks to etc cuz you do not own another person. I personally also do not let my kids think a partner can be "stolen" away short of aggressive physical "kidnapping" But I know and understand thats just my personal belief system. I know not everyone else shares that perspective. Something that it seems to me that might have changed in the years since I married is that--------- wel- homosexuality is more out in the open, now. Becuz of that sometimes I wondr if that means we have to be hyperalert to same sex relationships, too? Maybe you offered your boyfriend a choice, but it may be a choice he does not want or does not agree with and maybe he feels like youbacked him into a corner (I think someone already said this, sorry) Due to extreme abuses in past relationships, I was very slow to trust. Once I did take the gamble to trust my now husband, I do not know how I would react or respond if I felt the trust being threatened. - altho I guess for me it will never be an issue anymore since he has not left the house in years and years. I will say I do meet old friends, even a man I was once engaged to for coffee......he is married and so am I and we pore over pics of our kids and funny little tales of our lives. BUT I never ever even try to hide that I see him, have taken my kids with, he gave my easy child an 18 wheel truck driving lesson once........ If my husband ever told me I could NOT see that person, we might have a very serious problem. If my husband told me I had to make a choice, we would have a very serious problem. My husband and my family had a terrible history and we were estranged from my family partly cuz of that- but when my mom was ill, I did not lie, I did not ask, BUT I did go to my mom. I left my husband home and fully expected him to step up to the plate without him feeling like I "chose" mom over him- mostly becuz I am who I am, I do what I have to do, and I love and like who I love and like. He was not happy with my absence, and he was not happy left on his own with our children, but he knew me, he knew I was doing what I had to be doing to be true to who I am and he also knew that was a part of me that drew him to me.........so whether he liked it or not, he had to honor it and respect it. I take care of people. BUT no, I will not lie about it and no, it is not up for discussion. My husband who I adore and love to no end can accept me doing what I need to do or he can pout. Or if he wants to throw away our 23 years, well.......if thats what he wants to do, but I have to be who I am. and he knew that before we married. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
emotional affairs
Top